Party Down Season 2 quotes

I want to be called Dennis.

You ever been to an orgy?

Lydia

Can't say that I have.

Me neither it looks like.

Lydia

Aw, it's early. A few drinks, people will warm up. Ed, my ex, well, get a couple of beers in that guy and he'd just start yelling for me to make out with my friend Peg.

Did you ever do that?

Lydia

Gosh, no. Well, I mean, after my divorce. But, it was special.

Casey

What is all this shit? Is this what guys like? Sex as a faceless party game?

Lydia

Uh, I think so. What do you think of Nick?

Casey

The host?

Lydia

Yes.

Casey

No, really?

Lydia

Yes! What do you mean? Single, lawyer, big house.

Casey

He's into anonymous cheap sex...

Lydia

Casey, men aren't like us. To them, sex is a big deal...like sports or...flags.

I'm a terrible liar.

Henry

It's not lying, it's... acting. Look, I was an actor; it's easy. You just use the true bits and you fake the fake bits.

And... that's acting?

Henry

Most actors aren't bright, so it has to be simple.

Lydia

Death is not the end, I can tell you that one for sure. When my friend Peg's fiancée got shot, he haunted her apartment.

Kyle

Woah, he got shot?

Lydia

Hunting accident. Yeah. Randy had this t-shirt with a big eagle on it, and he came through the bushes, and Peg just... [imitates shotgun firing]

Ron

...There's an eagle season?

Lydia

Duck. But, you know, you see wings, you just react. But let me tell you something: Randy haunted her plumbing until she had to move to a different unit. [shivers]

[taunting] This is it, dog. This is it, bro. Come on, you think you got what it takes? [Garlan's opponent shoots and misses] You don't! HORSE motherfucker!

You dickless weenis!

Biggest my dad ever freaked out was when he found pot in my room.

Ron

You smoke pot?

No. I quit. I mean, I'm trying to quit. I am stoned right now, but just a tiny bit.

I hear you may join us at the main office.

Henry

Oh...

Capital of North Dakota?

Henry

What?

Bismarck! Bone up on your trivia. We're a crazy bunch over there.

Ron

[laughing] Ah, trivia. What's green and falls up?

That's not trivia.

Ron

What don't you understand? It's crystal clear. Ron Donald Do's, okay? The 4 P's and 1 B. Politeness, Professionalism, Perfectionism, Proactive, Be on time.

Roman

I have a proactive suggestion. [goes to white board]

Kyle

You-you know what, I think we get the system.

Ron

Okay, then what don't you understand, Kyle? [to Roman] What are you doing? Don't do that. Don't—

Roman

"Punctuality."

Ron

What? No! Don't do that!

Roman

Now it's 5 P's.

Ron

No! I already have 4 P's. That's an RDD.

Roman

That's a Ron Donald Do?

Ron

No, a Ron Donald Don'ts. "Failure to politeness."

Roman

This is so confusing, Ron.

Kyle

You know what I don't get? Who says you get to be boss?

Ron

I do. As boss I have that authority.

Kyle

You can't do that.

Ron

Yeah, I can, and I did.

Kyle

Okay, well, hey guys, guess what? I'm the boss now.

Ron

You can't do that because you're not the boss. You know, can I finish please? Three RDDs, I dock your pay.

Roman

You can't do that, Ron.

Ron

I can too! And Roman, that's an RDD.

Roman

A Do? This is the dumbest fucking strategy for productivity. [Henry enters]

Kyle

Henry, is Ron really the boss?

Henry

Yeah, Ron's in charge, everybody.

Ron

See? Not that what he says matters.

Casey

[affectionately] You are a runty little puppy.

Henry

[pleased] Thanks.

And this must be Casey Kleinberg.

Casey

Klein.

[to his fiancee Constance] Boy, you weren't kiddin' about those cans!