[saying farewell to Wilbur] Never give a girl your number, always take hers. Keeps you in control. No American cars. German, Italian, or the occasional English. Treat yourself to a barber shop shave once a month. Take a beautiful girl to Florence and eat at the Enoteca. Talk to Marino, he'll take care of you. Tell him you're my son. Don't take any crap from anyone, you're better than that. But.. try to be good to people. Never get too jaded to care. Remember me. Remember me."
S2 E5Joel Gideon
S2 E6Bobbi Broderick
[to Sean] If Anne Frank were hiding in your attic, she wouldn't have gotten past the words 'Dear Diary.' I'm putting pussy lips back on the schedule!
[upon learning Liz's wish to become a mother] Medusa's going to breed?
[pointing to an overweight patient and referring to Liz's wish to become a mother] Not fair, they let him get pregnant.
She's the life coach my mom hired to get my grades up.
Your grades, asshole, not your dick!
I have no idea you are so puritanical.
I am a goddamn pilgrim.
I'll have you arrested for statutory rape.
Matt's 17. By Florida laws he is a consenting adult.
You certainly know your rape laws.
For someone who according to Matt has had his share of teenage girls, you are stupid if you don't.
S2 E7Naomi Gaines
[to Adrian] You are not too old to get a backhand and I'm wearing heavy rings.
No, this whole family is bullshit. And you're the reason why.
Don't talk to me like that, I am still your mother.
You're not my mother, you're a whore.
[Julia raises her hand, but Matt blocks it.]
Even if you did hit me, it would still be true.
S2 E8Agatha Ripp
I'm getting my kid baptized.
Over my dead body.
Easily arranged.
I loved being a Catholic when I was a kid. The drama of it. The feeling that there was a mysterious man in the heavens watching out for you.
When did you lapse?
When I became a pro-choice lesbian.
He's not your son.
What are you talking about? I was there when he was conceived. I pulled him out of you when he was born. He's everything like me; too emotionally shut off, he's tuned in his head. This thing with Ava... is completely not McNamara like, I'll give you that. Is that what you're trying to say? Is that what you're saying?!
I didn't mean--
Just answer me! I am Matt's father!
Christian is!
[after punching Christian to the ground] I loved you the most!
Agatha Ripp did at least have one point that makes sense. That Bible quote, "Watch out for false prophets, they come to you in sheep´s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves". That´s what the devil is, you know. Not some obvious Machiavellian figure with horns and a tail but a silent foe disguised as friend. Someone you trust, even love, whom you let into your life only to find out too late they´ve made a shambles of it.
S2 E9Rose & Raven Rosenberg
[discussing the force majeure clause in the partnership contract] But there's gotta be a statute of limitation on this.
There is no statute of limitation for being a back-stabbing asshole.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Nip/Tuck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.