If hundreds of men can use my doll to get off four times a day, you screwing one Kimber wannabe isn't the end of the world. You are cheating on me with... Me!
So I can screw all your graduates now?
S3 E9Hannah Tedesco
After the wedding, we agree on two things. No more porn for me, and no more affairs for you. [Edit] Oh, don't worry, there's a clause in there that still allows for threesomes.
S3 E10Madison Berg
Since Julia and I split up, have you and she ever talked about giving it a try?
I don't think we've both ever been single at the same time.
That's not an answer.
I don't harbour any feelings for her if that's what you're asking. I wouldn't do that to you. Again.
CTCake Tasting Hostess
[to Christian and Sean] I'm sorry, I just have to say something: I've been doing this for a lot of years, and you two are the most elegant, sharing couple I've ever met.
My fears about Sean turned into the need to find out if you were really the one.
Theres still something. Someting unresolved between us. After all these years.
Sleeping together didn't resolve anything. We simply made a mistake that many people paid dearly for.
[to Sean and Christian] So much water under the bridge. And here we are. Still standing. Still pretty fantastic. Let's toast us. To survival with grace.
A way to a man's heart is not entrapping him with your tragedy.
Did he do this to you? All this bitterness as a result of loving you too much?
No, I was always a bitch.
Maybe I'll always be alone. Maybe thats just the way it's meant to be.
You know, you've never really been alone.
Really? My bride left me at the altar. My partner left me for a midlife crisis. Am I missing something?
I can help you with one of those things. I'd like to come back to the practice.
You mean that?
I do.
S3 E11Abby Mays
I'm a widely successful plastic surgeon with great hair, pro-white teeth and a 33-inch waist. I'm a goddamn superhero and I'm going to put that cape back on, fly back into every singles bar in town and bang myself silly.
Beauty is symmetry, and you don't have any. First, I'll need to get rid of all this nasty cottage cheese. And here, with some laser hair removal to keep this forest under control. These mud flaps will need to be lopped off. Have you ever picked up anything heavier than a carton of Haagan-Daaz?
We don't need you for this surgery, Quentin. Why don't you just go home?
Or why don't you head down to the docks? I hear there's a whole bunch of sailors just arrived with three-day passes.
[to Julia] Here's something that slipped through the crack. Some guy's cock in your boyfriend's ass!
Look, after being attacked, accused of murder, rejected by your mother, and dumped by your bride, who wouldn't be angry? It all makes sense. You've had a really rough year, Christian, but you shouldn't be taking it out on her.
Enough with your feminazi bullshit, Liz! [Edit] Shut up and serve the surgeon!!
AMAbby Mays
Just because I am ugly, doesn't mean I'm attracted to ugly, Dr. Troy. I get all the magazines. I watch MTV. I'm as affected by the media as anyone else.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Nip/Tuck pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.