Nip/Tuck quotes

Sean

I know you've slept with some strange types, Christian, but a 50-year-old school principal?

Christian

Put it on my tomb stone. Here lies Christian Troy. He was never predictable.

Christian

There are times I want to feel more May, than September for a change.

Sean

Here is the new world order, Christian. You keep Matt informed on how to minimize orange streaks at spray-on tanning salons, and I'm in charge of all matters concerning his education.

Christian

[to Gina] You're like herpes. Every time I feel like I'm getting my life back, I have a Gina outbreak.

Christian

[to Erica] Why would I consider using a condom? You haven't had a pregnancy scare since Gabe Kaplan was a celebrity.

Beauty is a curse on the world. It keeps us from seeing who the real monsters are.

Amazing drug, isn't it? It's a rarefied form of metachurine chloride. They use it on psych patients...causes a kind of 'waking coma'...should wear off in a few minutes...mmm....it's like a plane crash though...a few minutes away to hit the ground can feel like a lifetime. Awful feeling...being totally helpless...having no control...that's how most people spend their lives...slaves to the tyranny of beauty...carb counting, kick-boxing and chemical peels. I'm rescuing them from all that...and you are destroying...my...work. They call me the 'Carver'. You're the 'Carver'. Fifty noses all the same. A thousand flawless breasts. You're the monster carving what's beautiful and real out of life.

Joan Rivers

My body's dropping so fast my gynecologist needs a hard hat.

Ava

Vodka on the rocks? If memory serves, you downed one of these the last time you were here barking up similar hallow threats. Drink up and get out.

Ava

How barbaric. Despite your doctor's degree and sleek veneer of sophistication, when it comes to women and how to treat them, you've crawled right out of the cave.

Christian

You lubricate acid. If I stuck my dick in you, it would sizzle off.

Ava

It would sizzle alright.

Liz

[referring to Christian] He's the only straight man I ever met who was arrogant enough to think that he could convert me. Sometimes, I hated the guy. But most of the time, I loved him.

Christian

[Referring to prolonging Momma Boone's surgery of separating her from the couch] She's not Julia, Sean. The separation can't go on forever.

Kimber

[after Christian asked her to marry him] You know how many times I have fantasised about hearing you ask me that? ...And what kills me the most is that I didn't even hear the words 'I love you'.

Kimber

[after walking in on Christian having sex with Kit] First you propose to me. Now you're screwing another girl. Who are you?

Christian

I'm me again, baby. I'm back.

Erica

That's the beauty of youth. There are no mistakes, just research.

Christian

There's really no point in having a consultation without the patient present.

She's a gorilla.

Sean

Well, I'm sure you're exaggerating.