With regulars Simon Amstell, Bill Bailey and Phill Jupitus
With guests Vic Reeves, Mark Ronson, Matt Bowman, Myleene Klass
“21x06” · Season 21
In this episode: Bill (3), Simon (2), Phill (2), Mark Lamarr (1), Matt (1)
Now before we go any further, Mark Ronson, what did you do to Amy Winehouse? I met her before she met you, and all she ever dabbled with was a bit of jazz and boogie-woogie. Now, there's trumpets and drugs all over the place, it stinks of Ronson! That's all I'm saying.
MMark
I think trumpets and drugs have always gone hand-in-hand, it's nothing to do with me.
BBill
Drugs and trumpets always go...? Only someone with a big nose would snort cocaine through a trumpet! (under audience laughter and applause) That is a lot of suction!
If we can get back to Amy for just a moment, could you tell us if she's okay? Is everything all right?
MMark
I haven't really... I haven't really spoke to her...
Oh, you just leave her in a ditch after you've done with her? Is that what happens?
MMark
"Here's your album, call me next year." No.
I think we all believe she'll be all right. She'll be all right, right? Let's get back to the comedy show!
(to camera) Amy, this is your television! We love you!
BBill
(to camera) Come back to us, Amy!
(to camera) Amy! Put it down! Put it down, Amy! (starts gesturing to the camera)
BBill
(to camera, holding up a mug) Look, tea! Cup of tea! Piece of toast! Don't leave us with Dido!
BBill
(to Matt) Have you ever made any unreasonable demands?
MMatt
We used to have a massive rider, it was huge, and then we got a bill for it. So yeah, uh, subsequent riders were kinda like... just...
BBill
Tone it down a bit?
MMyleene
Tap water...
MMatt
Yeah, like non-branded lagers, four only... and, like... fruit...
BBill
(laughs) "Fruit"? That's not a rider, that's not very rock-and-roll! A rider's supposed to be like, you're supposed to go mental, have a swan carved out of ice, with baked beans on it and a Nissan Micra and a lifetime subscription to the Times Literary Supplement, not fruit!
(following a clip of the "comedy wall" on Hear'Say It's Saturday)
I haven't felt this angry about a wall since Berlin!
BBill
What I love actually, I love this, I found out about The Spice Girls, they offered the fans via their website the chance they would play in any city in the world, and there was a massive internet campaign saying "Baghdad"! And in the end, they went, they just ignored it and went "Oh, you meant Toronto? Yes we'll go there!"
MMyleene
(reading from cue card) I hear that Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine has been linked to Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.
(looking though a window in the style of Hear'Say It's Saturday comedy wall) So's Hepatitis C, but it doesn't go on about it!
(Simon closes the window, only to reopen it)
Erm, for legal reasons I should point out that neither Britney nor Lindsay have Hepatitis C.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Never Mind the Buzzcocks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.