NCIS · Season 7
[Abby has been kindly invited by Alejandro Rivera to speak at a symposium in Mexico City]
You're not going to go, are you?
Are you kidding? Why wouldn't I go?
Well, I bet he just wants to find out how many tats you have.
Maybe I have a new one that you're never going to see.
You okay?
Not really. I broke rule number ten. Again. Never get personally involved in a case.
Yeah. That's the rule I've always had the most trouble with.
I thought you were going to start locking your front door.
Well, if I did that I'd have no social life. What are you doing here, Alison Hart?
You didn't seem happy with my new status at NCIS.
Oh, and I thought I covered that so well.
Ducky found tissue underneath our victim's fingernails. Most likely from the killer. I ran the DNA, no matches.
Doesn't sound much like a breakthrough.
Well, it's not, but it is helpful because all military DNA is on file.
Just means our killer wasn't in the military.
Uggh... Rules out Director Vance.
It's good work. Get the address to Tony and Ziva.
[hands Abby a tiny Caf-Pow]
Nice job.
What the bio-hazardous material is this?
It's all they had.
A mini Pow?
[Gibbs nods]
Uggh, this is another bad omen. Gibbs, this does not bode well for my future.
Abby, I wouldn't worry about it.
Why's that?
Because, I've got your back. Always have, Abs. [kisses her on the cheek] Always will.
I bet Abby could last longer than ten seconds playing random chat.
You are obsessed.
You wouldn't understand.
Why is that?
Because, being irritating is second nature to you. Me, I'm charming.
[scoffs]
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say serial killer.
[laughs] A limb. Nice!
Can I give you a hand? These are terrible jokes...
Now I understand why Tony took the couch in Paris.
Ziva said that she did.
[they look at each other understandingly]
Hi, Gibbs.
Hey, Abs.
Hi, Gibbs.
Hey, Abs.
Can I come in?
Yeah. You already are in.
Oh, right. Okay. It was nice talking to you.
Abs. Why are you here?
You know why I'm here. I matched the bullet in Pedro Martinez's head to your sniper rifle. You killed him. In cold blood. I mean, I know what he did, Gibbs. He killed your wife and your daughter, but Gibbs.
I know.
Gibbs doesn't do things like that, or does he? Now I don't know. I don't know anything. The only thing that I do know is that I didn't find this out by accident.
Rule forty.
If it seems like someone is out to get you, they are. You have no idea how much I wish it was yesterday. Maybe if I could just close my eyes and open them again it will be. [crosses her fingers and closes her eyes, only to open them in dismay] Do you realize the situation that I'm in now?
Yeah, I know.
Do you understand the choice that I have to make now?
I know.
Stop saying I know!
What do you want me to say?
Tell me I'm wrong! Tell me that I made a mistake with the ballistics or --
No. No, I can't say that.
Then tell me how much I've been like a daughter to you, and how much you love me.
Will that help?
No. What I really need to know, Gibbs, is if you're going to love me no matter what.
It is perfect for s'mores.
I never liked s'mores.
What are you talking about? What's not to like? You've got your chocolate, graham crackers, gooey marshmellows. What kind of boy scout are you?
I'm a Webelos, actually.
Well, zip up Webelos, your inner geek is showing.
Why would you let someone get away with rape?
Perception. Burrows is in the military. If a woman cries rape, no man on that ship would ever totally trust her again.
Well, you're a woman. What would you do?
I am different. After torturing them until they cried like babies, I would castrate them and give them what they deserve.
Hmm. Spoken like a true almost-American.
A good flan is hard to make. Getting the right ratio of milk to vanilla to caramel.
Can we stop talking about the flan?
What are you, anti-flan?
Since when did I become the kid in class that the teacher won't call on? The evidence in my report says that you killed Pedro Hernandez, and you're not even willing to talk to me about it.
I didn't think I needed to.
I owe you everything! You're Gibbs! No one needs to know the truth about the Hernandez investigation. I am willing to do anything for you. I just need you to tell me what to do.
No you don't, Abs. I've only ever needed you to do one thing.
My job. But it's different this time. I mean, it has to be, right?
No, it doesn't.
It's tough to master the flan. Texture needs to be smooth, just the right ratio of milk to vanilla to caramel.
Can we stop talking about the flan?
What are you, anti-flan?
Ain't that a riddle? No way out. Guy trapped in a room, no doors, no windows."
How did he get there?
Walls were built around him. But there's nothing there except a mirror and a table. How does he get out?
Look in the mirror, see what you saw. take the saw, cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Climb out the hole. Most retarded riddle I ever heard.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
