PPerry
Any word on my immunity?
Well, I hear zinc lozenges help, but you might want to try some vitamin C or echinacea. Oh, you mean your immunity? No.
S6 E20Dead Reckoning
KKort
Secret lovers could no longer live in a lie.
[on the phone outside the safehouse] Tony, we have been compromised.
What are you talking about, Ziva? Is this a drill??
PPerry
Did she get my medicine?!
I'm going around the back.
Come here. Let's go. What are you doing?! Let's go! [sees Ziva walk in the door] Should we go?
We are more vulnerable in transit. Take cover.
PPerry
What is she going to do?
You know, I don't really know. Bathroom, now.
[calls Gibbs on speakerphone and places phone on the table, then draws two pistols]
Yeah? Gibbs.
We have a situation at the safehouse.
Well, yeah, Ziva. What is it?
Just a second. [both men break in a door each, only to be shot dead]
Ziva? Ziva! Ziva, talk to me!
Under control. [hangs up]
[smiles and hangs up]
[in a newscaster voice] In a tragic story of obsessive hobbying turned deadly, an NCIS agent was discovered in his basement, crushed between a large homemade boat, and an even larger bottle of bourbon!
Abby, no one was hurt. Tony and Ziva are fine.
They're not fine! Not as long as someone is leaking information! I mean, how else would Siravo have known about our meeting with Flores and that we had Perry? [McGee shrugs] See?? No one is safe until I find this leak.
Any luck?
No! There were no unusual outgoing calls from the NCIS switchboard. I ran all the phone numbers for everyone with knowledge of the crime: Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, you, me, home, cell and office.
You ran your own home phone records?
Yeah. Gibbs orders.
In a topsy-turvy world where nothing is as it seems, the one place you can turn to is the wall! [slaps his hands on the NCIS Most Wanted wall]
We ran his prints. The coma man is indeed Jonathan Siravo.
Yes. The master of pirates can't change his diapers, but running an international crime syndicate?! That he can do in his sleep! [glares] You lied to me, wall!
The rest of it is mostly spreadsheets, bank accounts and porn... spreadsheets and porn, that's two totally different things.
Yeah, I already know that, Abs.
Okay, I was just checking.
TTrent
Status on the Borealis?
It's a boat, and it's missing. Status on you is you're really irritating and I wish you were missing.
You would have done things differently?
I would. I do. But in the last two minutes, you've gotta let your quarterback call the plays. Nice win.
S6 E21Toxic
Oh, I remember those days. When I was carefree and full of joy. I envy you, Tony.
Why are you dressed for a funeral, Abby?
Is everything okay?
No. Frank is sick.
Who is Frank?
My mandibular second molar. It's been killing me for a week. I'm finally going to the dentist.
You name your teeth?
You don't?
This is nice. Being able to work without Tony's incessant babbling. It is almost as if he cannot go on for more than thirty seconds without hearing his own voice. You know, the truly amazing thing is that he fails to realize just how irritating he is to those around him.
Ziva!
Yes, Gibbs?
Babbling.
Heller made the bullet and I made the gun.
Huh. Assassination made easy, but I mean really, a gun would be easier.
He didn't build it to kill someone.
He built it to sell it.
[sarcastically] Perfect. Hi, I'm Abby Sciuto: International bio-weapons dealer.
[to Gibbs] I can hear you staring.
Did I miss it?
No, he's letting him sit.
Sit?! He gets a chair? He -- he kills bunnies!!
S6 E22Legend: Part 1
[As they walk into the squad room]
Tony, I am not arguing with you.
You're arguing now.
No I am not.
Are too.
This is not an argument.
Yes it is.
(exasperated) No, it's not.
Yes. It is. (phone rings) Hang on...
[Tony proceeds to answer Ziva's phone for her, teasing her as she walks up about the man on the other end before she snatches it]
(wanders to McGee's desk) What were we arguing about before?
(gives him a look) We were not arguing.
Oh, right. Yes we were.
Do you understand that that's what we were arguing about? The fact that you will argue about the least little thing. Sometimes you will argue about nothing at all... you just want to argue.
That's not arguing, McContrary. C'mon. Have a little insight. That's bantering.
No, it's not. 'Banter' is light-hearted, witty repartee.
(grins) Go onnn...
(looks annoyed for a moment, then gives up and smirks) It's your turn to get the coffee. Go.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.