NCIS: Los Angeles · Season 1
(Deeks is handcuffing the suspect.)
I gotta be honest, I'm not happy with you, Alejandro. I think I pulled a hamstring, I definitely stained my jeans, and what? Over a few simple questions?
Were you driving Perez's truck? Who was in the front seat?
You know what? Why don't we start off with an easy one, huh? So my toilet's running. Yeah? Even after I exchanged that little flapper thing at the bottom of the tank. So what the heck am I supposed to do now?
(Kensi and Deeks are walking through a drug tunnel between the US and Mexico.)
Got a ladder.
Ah! Bienvenidos a México.
Uh huh! Who’s going up?
We should probably rock-paper-scissors for it, West coast rules?
Let’s do it.
On three. One, two, three!
(Kensi chooses scissors and Deeks chooses rock.)
Rock beats scissors. You’re going up.
Wha, what, what? No, no, the winner stays, the loser goes.
Who came up with that rule?
I think it’s pretty obvious ‘cause the winner lives and the loser faces certain death.
Fine, I go up. You’re such a gentleman!
No! All right, I got it, I got it! (Deeks stops Kensi while she’s going up.)
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Deeks (while climbing up the ladder.): This is why you should never fall in love!
Aww! Don’t worry, they probably fled when they heard the gunshots.
Or maybe they’re waiting right there with a bunch of AKs pointing at my head.
I think we're moving too fast.
And it's awesome.
We are around each other every day.
Totally awesome.
We see each other every night.
Totally and completely awesome.
Deeks, this isn't normal.
We're not normal. Our fondest memories include Taliban bullet holes and Hetty Lange. You're no Bridget Jones and I am no....whatever the male equivalent to Bridget Jones is.
Listen, you got any Gurkha wisdom for me? Because Kay-Kay's been fighting me ever since we woke up.
Fighting since you woke up? Hold on. Last time I was here, you were still trying to figure out your feelings. How long since?
Christmas.
You've already moved in together?
No. Well I mean, we spend pretty much every night together, and, obviously, every day together.
Are you crazy?
Maybe.
Who moves that fast? Last time I was here, I advised you, be patient.
You think we're moving too fast?
Most new couples do. Spending every moment together, staging photos to display their happiness, introducing them to friends and family. It feels real before it becomes real.
Wow. You know a lot about women.
I'm a Gurkha, not a monk.
The spy game has more in common with selling used cars than any of us would like to admit.
[In Sam's hospital room]
What's the situation?
It's bad.
When you say bad––
Very bad.
Getting shot is very bad. Your cooking is very bad. Granger after two drinks is very bad. I need you to be more specific, G.
You remember the time we fought Thapa?
Oh, angry Gurkha rates very, very bad on the Hanna scale of bad people, places and things.
We got six of them coming our way.
We both love beer. Can we agree that we both love beer?
We can agree that if you offer me a beer, I'll drink it. But, I'm more of a champagne guy.
Champagne over beer?
Dom Perignon Rose? Best bubbles in the world, baby.
What about basketball?
You know I'm more of a football man.
Pancakes.
Waffles.
JFK.
The movie or the airport?
[In the boathouse, watching Callen interview a suspect] Wow, well played, Callen. Well played. You got 'im wrapped around your pinky. Not that it isn't something I haven't done a thousand times. Except for, of course, I did it in a courtroom with a ton of people. The judge [Holds up his hands as if he's staring through the scope on rifle] staring me down. The jury, sizing me up, sayin' what you got, public defender? What. You. Got?
[On the monitor] Uh... Deeks?
Huh?
You, you know that I can hear you... right?
Yeah. No, no. Yeah, I know- definitely know that you can- I mean I knew that you were there... if that's what you're asking.
[Moves on screen] Good, because I'm here, too.
Oh. Nell. [laughing self-consciously] Hi.
'S up?
[Moves on screen] Detective.
Oohph. Granger. Of course, Granger is there. It's like the whole Opsapalooze. What's going on, guys? What can I do you for?
Question. Do you crumble graham crackers into your S'mores-cakes?
So... Joelle’s good?
She’s good. (pause) She’s great
Great. Great. great, great.
How’s Kensi?
Uh? Kensi? She ... you know, she’s good. I don't know why you’re asking me, I mean you work with her, you know she’s ... she’s good right? Because, I don’t know ... why would I ...?
(chuckles)
What? (pause) You know, don’t you?
Of course I know.
Who else knows?
Well, let’s see. Sam, Nell, Hetty, of course, Eric, took a little while but he finally got there, the guys at the motor pool... Pretty much everyone at this point.
What about Granger?
Granger I’m not so sure about. He’s definitely mellowed since his poisoning but he could just be buying his time, waiting for the right moment to crush you both.
Wow, that is ... awesome.
Uh huh! Don’t pretend like you didn’t know the risks.
I’m just wondering if this partner shuffle has something to do with us.
That is a question only Hetty can answer.
Am I ok with my co-workers dating? No. Does that mean I want you off the team? Hell, no! And that goes for Deeks too.
Oh?!
Don’t tell him I said that!
I will not.
Just, you know, eventually you guys are gonna have to figure out where this thing is going, if you wanna continue putting your lives on the line.
Meaning what?
Meaning that, when Michelle and I had Kam, that was a whole ‘nother mission.
Kids? Yeah, no. No, no, no, no, no! We’re not, we’re not ... we’re not thinking about kids, we’re not even thinking about dinner!
That’s fine. But things don’t always go as they’re planned. Things happen. Kids happen. That’s what happened with Aiden, he kinda popped up out of the blue. I thought I was ready for anything, active duty, whatever, but ... not for that. I wasn’t a perfect Dad either. I made a lot of mistakes those first years.
I think Aiden was a lucky kid.
I was the lucky one. Still am.
You’re a detective?
Yeah.
You don’t look like they do on tv.
What do they look like on tv?
Like suits, you know, professional?
Yeah, well I learned a long time ago that wearing a suit doesn’t make you professional.
Lots of people are in love with the idea of having kids, but most have no idea what they're getting into.
Did you and Michelle?
I mean, we thought we did. Read books, we took classes
That help?
Hell, no.
Why'd you run?
I like to keep in shape.
Every federal prison has a running track. I'm sure you'll utilize that.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS: Los Angeles pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
