[looking at a teenage militia member] You've got to be kidding me. I'm being shot at by a Jonas Brother... And I think I'm about to meet the rest of the family.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[To reach Callen inside the militia camp, Sam lets himself and Callen be captured.]
You wanna explain yourself?
Explain myself? I saved your skinny ass.
Let's see, I had a gun and a hostage before you got here. Now I'm... I'm chained up to a stove with a concussion, that's a nice save.
Ten more seconds, you'd have a dozen new bullet holes in you.
Now what?
I was hoping you had some ideas.
I'm thinking I want my gun and my hostage back.
You know that was really stupid coming in to get me.
Calling me stupid? You wanted to "Butch Cassidy" me. You wanted to run for it.
Yeah, it wasn't my best idea.
You wanted to "Custer's last stand" me. You want to "Alamo" me.
You going to put that in your little report, with color-coded tabs?
Yeah, tabs marked "Dumb ass idea".
Nice job, Special Agent Hanna.
Aah, you said it. You feel good?
Nah, it cheapens the work.
[Discussing the office remodeling.]
Organization and productivity are directly correlated. Cleanliness is next to... um... efficiency.
So, you moved our stuff?
I tried to stop her.
Hetty. She's the only one... [Callen pauses as Hetty walks up.]
Continue, Mr. Callen, continue.
...With the authority.
Ah, um, Nate, if your comment that "They might be miffed" constitutes trying to stop me, I suggest you learn more forceful techniques of self-assertion, not that I would have listened.
I'm sending our top forensics specialist to assist you.
But there are no forensics.
Our forensic expert has a theory about this crime that's, shall we say, original. Thinks McEllon is the victim of a serial killer. No other law enforcement organization in this country thinks this killer even exists. Can't say I do either.
And you're sending this person why?
I was ganged up on. [Vance signals for an end to the video conference.]
Who gangs up on the director of a federal agency?
Oh, you'd be surprised Mr. Callen.
And who's the expert?
[Off screen] Oops. I think I took a wrong turn. Hello?
Abby? We're in here.
[enters Ops] There you are. Hi. Wow! This place is seriously cool.
So, I'm sure Leon has told you that I know who killed McEllon.
Wait, you call him Leon?
You don't?
Not successfully.
Give it time.
[Callen and Sam are following a suspect.]
Now is that a casual walking away or is that an 'I see two guys who may be law enforcement' walking away?
[Callen and Sam are discussing options of how to get into a building through the sky light.]
Miami?
No, Miami was half the height and we still got all busted up.
One of us may land soft enough and get the shot.
Yeah, if one of us is Peter Pan.
[Nate approaches Sam who is working on a bomb at his desk.]
Wow, um... Shouldn't you be working on that somewhere a little more secure?
Like where?
Uh, I don't know a room with armor-plated walls comes to mind.
Light's good in here.
I will buy you a lamp.
King said it was defused. He seemed to know what he was doing. Relax.
The million dollar question is do you know what you're doing?
What did you do to your tie?
Oh, I, uh, I spilled something on it.
Ah.
Yeah. Should I get it dry cleaned?
Well, that's an option.
Soda water?
I'd recommend either donation or incineration, not in that order.
You don't like this tie, it... it was a gift.
Obviously not from a loved one.
[to Nate] You know in my experience if you're patient, sooner or later, the people who need to talk will seek you out; often under the guise of some other intention. You just have to listen.
[Hetty gives Nate a new tie after he spilled something on his.]
You think I could pull off a bow tie?
Not without a red rubber nose and those big floppy shoes.
[Callen, Sam and Kensi return after completing their mission.]
Looks like Hetty is still here.
She worries.
Not that she'd ever let us know.
I had some paperwork that needed to be completed before tomorrow, Mr. Callen; some of us take our paperwork seriously.
[Callen walks into Hetty's office.]
I already sent the others upstairs.
Good morning, Hetty.
Well that's a matter of perspective, Mr. Callen. Uh, I've been doing some accounting and I came across an anomaly in your expenses. This is a fourteen hundred dollar restaurant bill from Matsukisa.
Um-hmm, that's from the Miygomi case.
You mean it's not a mistake? You actually spent fourteen hundred dollars on raw fish!
Not me, my alias Tony Z did.
Ah, ah, ah and is Tony Z going to reimburse me?
Well, you'll have to talk to him about that.
Uh-huh.
Hetty, when I go undercover as a beach bum, I eat at the Kogi truck. When I'm going after high rollers, I've got to hit it a little harder.
Try ordering soup, player.
[The team opens a refrigerator and a body falls out.]
Well, he's clearly past his expiration date.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS: Los Angeles pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.