PJ quotes from My Boys

No, you can't start with Jenga, I wanna watch Jenga.

Mike

Wow, you made your choice there, PJ. You know we'd all like to put on a pretty top and go out tonight.

I mean, what kind of relationship do you have if you can't come clean with the person you're with?

Stephanie

A relationship that will last! Look, it's like faking an orgasm or telling somebody that their baby is cute. These are good lies!

When I was in my twenties, I hung out in bars, with a bunch of friends. Everybody goes through that phase.

Okay, it's actually not a phase.

No, hey. I know that you're going through a time in your life when you're supposed to screw around, you know. It's fun, do it. But when you... and I don't want to say "grow up."

Then don't.

You'll find, as you get older, a lot of that stuff just falls away.

I don't know what just happened.

Bobby

Well, sometimes a man and a woman get... a special feeling.

Shut up!

Stephanie

What were you thinking sleeping with Bobby? And how was it?

I don't know what I was thinking. And it was a solid B. Perfect attendance, didn't turn in all of his homework.

Mike

Hey, just for the sake of argument... it was this week?

Yes.

Is that what you called?

Brendan

It is, pay it up! Come on!

Mike

You couldn't hold out until Halloween, could you?

Wait a second here, you guys bet on when I would break up with Hank?

Brendan

Oh yeah, we do it for all the guys you date.

It's the first time I lost.

Oh, I'm so sorry to disappoint you.

Okay, that was Greg Zonar, and I didn't date him, he was stalking me.

Kenny

Mike stalked a girl once. But, Mike stalks a lot of girls.

[to Kenny] Hey, don't feel bad, you did better than last year, okay?

Mike

It was odd, it was like little girl hands.

Kenny

I'm going on the record, I think Dani's great.

Puh-lease.

Kenny

Come on, she's cool, she's funny, she's sm—

Don't you dare say smart!

Kenny

Smurfy.

Stephanie

That's the only word you can think of that begins with "sm"?

You were gonna say smart. About a woman who thought she was having dinner in another state.

Brendan

You know what, guys, I feel like I've seen her before.

Oh hey, does this help jog your memory? [begins making porn music sounds and talking in a whispery voice] Oh, Mr. Cable Man—

Stephanie

[in a deep voice] Yes?

[in porn voice] I want all your channels!

Brendan

Wow, dinner and a movie.

Kenny

I've seen this one.

That was not Fun Andy!

Stephanie

Yes it was! Don't you remember? Fun Andy was the reason you spent your sweet sixteen party in the emergency room.

No, he had an allergic reaction.

Stephanie

To cocaine! You take sweet little lovable Andy and you cut him loose and he turns into Mr. Hyde. Or Dr. Jekyll. Who was the one with the fangs?

Dracula?

These are petanque boules that I won off of an old man in Provence.

Oh wow, these boules are... what are these?

It's lawn bowling, but much more pretentious.

Should we go out and... petanque?

I've got a better idea, why don't we go to a bar and get pe-tanked?

Mike

You're a good friend.

Bobby

You're a good friend too.

Mike

You're a really good friend.

Bobby

You're a really good friend.

Alright, before you two start making out can we please get back to the game!

This has been my favorite episode of Gilmore Girls.

Mike

Alright! [throws poker chip at Andy]

[in Valley Girl imitation] You guys were mad at each other, but then you got back together!

Mike

I made out with my 10th grade English teacher, Miss Francis.

What?!

Mike

No, nonononono! It was two years ago, not when I was in high school. That would have been totally creepy.

Brendan

Did you call her Miss Francis?

Mike

Yes.

Brendan

That's still pretty creepy.

Mike

You know, something's been bugging me the last couple of days. Did Brendan put a baby in your stomach?

Yes, she lives with my mother.

That's who that little girl is! The one in the rock shirts with the five o'clock shadow.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. It is totally my fault and I'm sorry.

Brendan

But are you sorry?