Come on, Kenny, the guy tried to bring a goat into Wrigley Field.
The goat had a ticket.
It wasn't Goat Day.
That's why he bought a ticket. Otherwise he'd have got in free.
I made out with my 10th grade English teacher, Miss Francis.
PPJ
What?!
No, nonononono! It was two years ago, not when I was in high school. That would have been totally creepy.
Did you call her Miss Francis?
Yes.
That's still pretty creepy.
You know, something's been bugging me the last couple of days. Did Brendan put a baby in your stomach?
PPJ
Yes, she lives with my mother.
AAndy
That's who that little girl is! The one in the rock shirts with the five o'clock shadow.
Mexican Freddy's really not Mexican.
AAndy
Sure, just like they call fat guys "tiny" or ugly guys "handsome."
What?
AAndy
You know what I'm talking about, handsome.
PPJ
You know, it's a funny thing about your wife, Andy, it turns out she does not feast on human flesh.
MFMexican Freddy
It turns out I was working out my issues with my father... on your face.
Man, I can't believe Meredith is cool. I don't know what to believe anymore.
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