Muppet Babies · Season 1
[After the chase of the slime monster]
[sighs, opens the fence board to check] I think we lost it. [closes it, sees someone in a ghost costume which makes 11 of the kids] Hey, wait a minute. 1, 2, 3...that's funny. How many of us were there when we started the story?
10. Why?
10? Why, uh, [points at someone in a ghost costume] I think we picked up a stray.
[Gonzo removes the sheet and it turns out to be the slime monster, who growls]
Slime monster!
Let's get outta here! Help!
[In the haunted house]
[comes out of the sheet] Are you sure you saw the slime monster in that closet, Gonzo?
[comes out of the sheet] I don't know. Maybe it was my imagination.
[comes out of the sheet] That's right. That's all it was. There aren't any slime monsters around here, uh, are there? [the slime monster comes out of the sheet, roars] That's good. For a minute there, I was getting worried. [gives a shocked look] Slime monster!
[run away] Slime monster!
Monster! Aah!
Slime monster!
[to the slime monster] When does a ghost need a license? [the slime monster scratches it's head, and blubbers, "I don't know"] During haunting season! [laughs nervously] Pretty funny, huh?
[The slime monster roars]
Let's synchronize our watches.
We don't have any watches, Gonzo.
That's okay, Scooter. I don't know what synchronize means anyway.
This fantasy is rated PG. We're under age.
Rowlf can pick up the scent.
I didn't know anybody dropped it.
[Gonzo, Scooter, Skeeter and Rowlf walk into the
It's only a few minutes before lunchtime. We just gotta find Animal.
Maybe he crawled into the laundry chute. [opens the hatch and peers in, and sees a live-action pig playing in mud] Animal, is that you? Nah, Animal never keeps himself that clean. [tries to climb out of the laundry chute, but can't budge] Hey! I'm stuck!
Come on! Let's give him a hand.
[Skeeter, Scooter and Rowlf pull Gonzo's legs to free him, but he wouldn't move]
He won't budge.
Maybe we ought to try and push him.
Good idea. On the count of 3. 1, 2, 3!
[Skeeter, Scooter and Rowlf push Gonzo down the chute, but fall in after him]
They don't call me the fastest gum in the west for nothing, ya know.
[about Robin] He's adorable, just like his Uncle Kermie.
Uncle Kermie? I never asked to be an uncle.
Kermit! Nobody asks to be an uncle. Your big sister had babies, that makes you an uncle, and the babies are your nieces and nephews.
Oh, that's different.
[reading to Robin] And so Piggy followed the little tadpole down its tadpole hole. [as herself] Oh, I'm falling!
Hold everything! You're not telling the story right, Piggy. The pictures show Alice chasing a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, not a tadpole hole.
I say it's a tadpole, and he went down a tadpole hole. And if you don't want to wind up stuffed in a weirdo hole, YOU BETTER KEEP QUIET!!!
[trying to adjust video camera] Hey, stay in focus. You're fuzzy.
No way, Gonzo. I'm not Fuzzy, I'm Fozzie.
[The Muppets are making a movie; Gonzo is directing]
And I'm going to be the producer.
Gee, what do producers do, Piggy?
THEY FIRE DIRECTORS! [lunges at Gonzo]
[After the Muppets decide to make a Star Wars movie]
Oh, I know who I can play! [grabs two belts] I could play Whewbacca the Cookie!
Um, that's Chewbacca the Wookie, Fozzie.
That's what I said, Cuchacca the Bookie.
Oh Gee.
Scooter, if you had ten hot dogs and Skeeter took three of them, what would you have?
He'd have a tummy ache. Get it? Ha ha. Wokka wokka wokka.
If you have to tell jokes then tell them to the wall.
Okay, hey wall, why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog. Wokka wokka wokka.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Muppet Babies pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
