Baby Piggy quotes from Muppet Babies

Piggy

[answering the door] Who is it? You never know when the Big Bad Wolf might turn up.

Piggy

[about Robin] He's adorable, just like his Uncle Kermie.

Kermit

Uncle Kermie? I never asked to be an uncle.

Skeeter

Kermit! Nobody asks to be an uncle. Your big sister had babies, that makes you an uncle, and the babies are your nieces and nephews.

Kermit

Oh, that's different.

Piggy

[reading to Robin] And so Piggy followed the little tadpole down its tadpole hole. [as herself] Oh, I'm falling!

Gonzo

Hold everything! You're not telling the story right, Piggy. The pictures show Alice chasing a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, not a tadpole hole.

Piggy

I say it's a tadpole, and he went down a tadpole hole. And if you don't want to wind up stuffed in a weirdo hole, YOU BETTER KEEP QUIET!!!

Piggy

And I'm going to be the producer.

Kermit

Gee, what do producers do, Piggy?

Piggy

THEY FIRE DIRECTORS! [lunges at Gonzo]

Piggy

Scooter, if you had ten hot dogs and Skeeter took three of them, what would you have?

Fozzie

He'd have a tummy ache. Get it? Ha ha. Wokka wokka wokka.

Piggy

If you have to tell jokes then tell them to the wall.

Fozzie

Okay, hey wall, why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog. Wokka wokka wokka.

Piggy

Who is it?

Fozzie

Door-to-door salesman.

Piggy

Is this anything funny?

Fozzie

Not at all, M'aam. These are unique encyclopedias.

Piggy

Okay, come on in.

Fozzie

These encyclopedia are where you open it up, the subject comes to you! Look at "P", a parrot!

Piggy

Neat! How about "O"?

Fozzie

Careful, because you may get the... [water appears] ...ocean!

Piggy

Quick! Open up "N" and get us the Navy!

Fozzie

I got us navel oranges!

Piggy

I know what Kermit's wish is. It's that we get married.

Kermit

I don't wanna waste a wish.

Piggy

WHAT?!

Kermit

Uh, on something that's gonna happen anyway.

Piggy

What time is it anyway?

Breakfast time, yayayayayaya! [eats a blanket]

Piggy

[her tummy gurgles] Oh, my tummy, it is breakfast time!

Rowlf

Whatcha lookin' for, Kermit?

Kermit

This, we can use it like a road map.

Rowlf

Yeah, but how will we get around once we're inside Scooter’s body?

Me know, me know, wawawawawawa.

Kermit

Quick, follow Animal.

Fozzie

Animal, where are you?

Kermit

He disappeared.

Submarine, wawawawawawa.

Kermit

That's perfect, Animal, this'll work great, come on, let's go.

Piggy

Hey, where do we get into Scooter's body when we're tiny?

Gonzo

There’s only one place that I know, his bellybutton.

Huh?

Skeeter

Are you sure, Gonzo?

Gonzo

Of course.

Scooter

[chuckling] Hey, that's cold. [sneezes again]

Kermit

Okay, guys, let's do it. Okay, here we go.

Piggy

Once upon a time, there was a little town called Hamster.

Skeeter

I have heard this one. The town is named Hamlin, not Hamster!

Piggy

This is my story and the town is Hamster! Anyway, it was ruled by a nice mayor who gave all the kids hamsters.

Fozzie

Hamsters, get your free hamsters!

Kermit

Piggy, they are rats. Besides, in the original story, the mayor is supposed to be the bad guy.

Piggy

Eek, rats! No, my story has a kind mayor and hamsters! Anyway, there were so many hamsters they needed someone to cajole them out. Along came the Pied Piano Player!

Rowlf

UGGG! Sure wish I had learned how to play the flute!

Fozzie

Don't worry Piggy, I'm a professional. [drops his cue cards] Oops!

Piggy

You're a professional oops all right.

Piggy

I've always wanted to be a baby sitter!

Fozzie

Me too! Who gets to sit on him first?