A character in Muppet Babies
Played by Greg Berg
Muppet Babies · 43 quotes
Most-quoted character in Muppet Babies: in 23 of its 43 quotes
Most scenes with: Baby Piggy (7), Baby Skeeter (6), Baby Gonzo (5)
Fozzie[to the slime monster] When does a ghost need a license? [the slime monster scratches it's head, and blubbers, "I don't know"] During haunting season! [laughs nervously] Pretty funny, huh?
[The slime monster roars]
FozzieThis fantasy is rated PG. We're under age.
Fozzie[hops on a toy motorcycle, but it will not go] Aw gee, my imagination must be outta gas.
[In the haunted house]
[comes out of the sheet] Are you sure you saw the slime monster in that closet, Gonzo?
[comes out of the sheet] I don't know. Maybe it was my imagination.
Fozzie[comes out of the sheet] That's right. That's all it was. There aren't any slime monsters around here, uh, are there? [the slime monster comes out of the sheet, roars] That's good. For a minute there, I was getting worried. [gives a shocked look] Slime monster!
[run away] Slime monster!
Monster! Aah!
Slime monster!
[trying to adjust video camera] Hey, stay in focus. You're fuzzy.
FozzieNo way, Gonzo. I'm not Fuzzy, I'm Fozzie.
[After the Muppets decide to make a Star Wars movie]
FozzieOh, I know who I can play! [grabs two belts] I could play Whewbacca the Cookie!
Um, that's Chewbacca the Wookie, Fozzie.
FozzieThat's what I said, Cuchacca the Bookie.
Oh Gee.
Scooter, if you had ten hot dogs and Skeeter took three of them, what would you have?
FozzieHe'd have a tummy ache. Get it? Ha ha. Wokka wokka wokka.
If you have to tell jokes then tell them to the wall.
FozzieOkay, hey wall, why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog. Wokka wokka wokka.
FozzieWhat's the difference between an orange?
Go ahead, Fozzie, finish the joke.
FozzieIt is finished. That's the joke.
[Fozzie has given up on comedy and now taken a job as a door-to-door salesman]
Who is it?
FozzieDoor-to-door salesman.
Is this anything funny?
FozzieNot at all, M'aam. These are unique encyclopedias.
Okay, come on in.
FozzieThese encyclopedia are where you open it up, the subject comes to you! Look at "P", a parrot!
[The parrot appears]
Neat! How about "O"?
FozzieCareful, because you may get the... [water appears] ...ocean!
[The ocean destroys entire house save for the couch, where Piggy and Fozzie are now adrift on]
Quick! Open up "N" and get us the Navy!
[The oranges appear on the couch]
FozzieI got us navel oranges!
Fozzie(about his painting) Pretty good, huh? I think I'll call it "Still-Life With Tomatoes."
[Scooter retches]
I think you oughta stick to telling jokes, Fozzie.
[After the power to the nursery is lost]
Come on, let's set up the dominos again.
But we won't be able to see them.
FozzieThat's okay. We didn't see them the first time either.
Fozzie!
FozzieSorry.
When I grow up, I'm going to run for Congress.
FozzieGee, it's a long way to Washington, Scooter, maybe you should start running now.
[Fozzie is on a quest to find comedian ancestors. He finds himself in a football stadium with anthromorphic bears wearing football uniforms]
FozzieWow! The Chicago Bears! Hey, why are you so glum?
We are champion football players.
FozzieWhat's wrong with that?
We want to be comedians!
FozzieI can help with that! Huddle up, guys.
[Football players huddle with Fozzie, who tells them a joke]
24-36-72-Joke!
Why is it always cool at a football game?
Because there are always a lot of fans in the bleachers! Wokka, wokka, wokka!
[The audience boos and throws tomatoes at football players. Annoyed, they chase Fozzie out of the stadium]
FozzieThat way, we can go inside Scooter and help him fight off his Germans.
That's "germs", silly.
FozzieThat's what I said.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Muppet Babies pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
