TV QuotesDatabase
S1 E11

Monk · Season 1, Episode 11

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer, Lt. Randall Disher and others in “Mr. Monk and the Red-Headed Stranger”

[Monk, Sharona, Stottlemeyer and Disher are in Stottlemeyer's office]

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Close the door. [Randy closes the door] What you are about to see cannot leave this room. The tabloids would pay a million dollars for this videotape. It's from the surveillance camera near the crime scene. [Randy presses play on the tape]

Lt. Randall Disher

The alley's a dead end. This is the only way in. The side door to the radio station was wired to an alarm, so we know it wasn't opened.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

The bottom line: we can tell for sure who was or was not there. [Monk pretends playing the clarinet] What the hell are you doing? [Monk signals to Stottlemeyer to wait a minute]

Sharona Fleming

Oh, uh, he's practicing.

Sharona Fleming

Willie Nelson invited him to sit in with his band.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Well, he may be live from Folsom Prison. Check this out. Go ahead. [Randy presses play on the tape. On the tape, Mrs. Mass pass by the camera as she enters the alleyway, tapping her cane as she feels around] Yeah, there goes Mrs. Mass. Tap, tap, tap. She goes into the alley. Fast-forward. [Randy fast forwards the tape a few minutes; Sonny Cross walks by the camera] And there goes the soon-to-be-late Sonny Cross. [A few seconds after Sonny Cross enters, Willie Nelson runs past the camera] And there goes Willie Nelson. Nobody else goes in or out. Pretty much a slam dunk.

Sharona Fleming

Are you gonna arrest him?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

D.A.'s ready to move. I'm waiting for some tests from the lab. Maybe tomorrow. [turns to Randy] Call your mom. Tell her to set the VCR. We're gonna be on the 6:00 news.

Adrian Monk

Captain, what about the note on the door?

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

My videotape trumps your note. Ask any lawyer.

Adrian Monk

I don't know.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

Monk, look. My heroes have been always been cowboys too. It's either "A," the blind woman, who has zero motive, or it's "B," your buddy, the Red-Headed Stranger.

Lt. Randall Disher

Who had motive, means and opportunity, and was the identified by the only witness at the scene.

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

"A" or "B", Monk?

Adrian Monk

I think it's "C".

Captain Leland Stottlemeyer

"C"? What the hell is "C"?

Adrian Monk

I don't know yet.

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More Monk quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.