[Rufus pulls up to the MacMillan Museum in a van and hops out with some tulips]
ISInspector St. Clare
Excuse me! Any suspects, yet?
RRufus
I wouldn't know. I'm just delivering flowers.
ISInspector St. Clare
No you're not. You're a private detective, like me.
RRufus
[scoffs] Me, a detective? That's uh, very funny by the way! I can't wait to tell the guys-
ISInspector St. Clare
Look, you're selling it to me! That satellite dish on your roof, the number on the side - "555" - obviously a fake. Now conclusion number 1: you're after the Alexander Diamond. Conclusion number 2: you haven't got a prayer. [Dirk, a motorcycle rider, wheels in and parks his motorcycle in a handicap space]
RRufus
Excuse me! That's a handicap spot!
DDirk
It's okay. I'm psychotic. Is this where they stole the rock?
ISInspector St. Clare
You judging me?
[Stottlemeyer reads the coroner's report to Monk and Natalie]
Here's the coroner's report. Victim's name: Danny Chasen, it's probably an alias. Victim was poisoned; somebody spiked his all-natural barley tea with ammonia.
Was he part of the heist?
Looks like it. They found some hair samples in that rolltop desk at the museum that matched the body.
Still missing in action. Wasn't on him or in the cabin.
We know he had a partner, somebody who works at the museum. It's probably still with him.
So the reward is still good? I mean, nobody's claimed it?
Yeah, as far as I know. The reward is still good.
[holds up file] Ka-ching!
[to Stottlemeyer] Could you make her stop saying that?
This is no longer a parlor game. A man is dead. This is a homicide investigation, which means nobody is to withold any information from anybody.
[noticing that Monk and Stottlemeyer are looking at her with accusing looks] What? Are you looking at me?
[Randy is questioning security guard Warren Landis about where he was during the robbery]
WLWarren Landis
I want to help you guys. I really do, but they've questioned me three times.
It's not just you, Mr. Landis. We're talking to all the guards, cleaning staff, curators; anybody who was at the museum.
WLWarren Landis
Yeah, but I haven't been home yet!
And I appreciate that. We just need your official statement, and you're free to go. So for the record, where were you during the robbery?
WLWarren Landis
OK, for the tenth time, I was at my station on the main floor. I *never* left. I didn't even go to the bathroom.
And you didn't hear anything unusual?
WLWarren Landis
No, sir. I was three floors away.
Okay. [noticing Monk and Natalie] Excuse me for a second. Can I get you something to drink?
[Randy walks over to the cooler where Monk and Natalie are standing]
What? You haven't heard? Robbery at the MacMillan Museum. It was big, big! The Alexander Diamond.
I know whoa! Robbery division asked us to help out, so we're taking statements from everybody on site.
So you're not arresting him about the drugs?
His fingertips are stained. It looks like red phosphorus. You get that from making crystal meth. He's got to have a lab somewhere.
Okay, I'll look into it. [turns to Landis] Excuse me, Mr. Landis. [to Monk and Natalie] If the Captain needs me, I'll be in Interrogation Room B. [Randy leaves with Landis to head to the interrogation room]
[The day after Jennie Mandeville confesses to stealing a pen from a bank, she comes back and confesses to accidentally killing her roommate and dumping his body]
Jenny, what did you do with the body?
JMJenny Mandeville
I flushed it down the toilet. [Realizing that this is another false "confession", Randy switches off the tape recorder]
JMJenny Mandeville
A hamster.
JMJenny Mandeville
[to Randy] So am I in trouble?
No, not this time, miss. But listen, if you feeling like finding someone to confess to, you should call a priest. [to an officer] Would you escort Miss Mandeville out? [Monk, Natalie and Stottlemeyer come out of the Captain's office. Disher turns to them]
Looney Tune of the Month. Her name's uh, Jennie Mandeville. She keeps on coming in here and confessing to stuff.
Well, she comes in, same as yesterday. Says she accidentally killed her roommate. So I take her into the back room and I turn on the tape recorder - Turns out her roommate was a hamster.
[chuckles] She didn't look unstable.
