[Monk steps on some bubble wrap on the ground at the crime scene and is compelled to pop it to make it even.]
Having fun?
No.
“Mr. Monk and the Employee of the Month” · Season 3, Episode 7
In this episode: Adrian Monk (5), Joe Christie (4), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (2), Sharona Fleming (2), Lt. Randall Disher (1)
Are you going to pop all of these?
No choice.
[Stottlemeyer picks up another side and starts popping it.]
You've gotta depress it with your thumb--
Monk, I know how to pop bubble wrap!
[He calls two more officers over]
Start popping these.
[They keep popping for a few seconds.]
OOfficer
Is there any reason why we're doing this?
Nope. Just keep popping.
Thanks. I really appreciate it.
[Sharona, Disher, Monk, and Stottlemeyer are in a "Mega-Mart" warehouse.]
Tired?
I was up all night with my girlfriend.
Yeah, those imaginary girlfriends can be pretty wild.
She's not imaginary.
[sarcastically] Really? What's her name?
Crystal.
[sees box labeled "Crystal Glassware"] What's her last name? Glassware?
No, it's Smith.
You have a picture?
[Takes picture from wallet, gives picture to Sharona]
Oh, she's pretty. [Turns over picture] Randy, this came with the wallet!
Yeah, I know. She's a wallet model.
That's sad.
Sharona, she's one of the world's top five wallet models! Thank you very much.
[Monk is late for dinner]
So where is he, anyway?
Last I saw, he was putting away boxes in the shoe department.
He's putting boxes away?
[laughing] Yeah...
Oh, God. Maybe we'd better go ahead and start ordering now, you know?
[indicates the prize mug] What do you think?
I think Edna was killed over this mug.
Really?
No.
Well, maybe it's made out of gold and painted over.
Joe... [He taps the mug with his pen. It's obviously ceramic]
Hey, you said try 300 theories until one fits.
I said that?
Yeah. I remember everything you ever said, God help me.
89-cent plastic commemorative plaque. Would you kill someone to get this?
I'd kill someone not to get it.
[At a Mega-Mart staff meeting, Brent Donovan declares Jennie Silverman the Employee of the Month for the second consecutive month]
BDBrent Donovan
So this will come as no big surprise to anybody, but the Employee of the Month for the second straight month is, drum roll please, is Jennie Silverman. [Everyone applauses and pretends praise] Well done, Jenny. And as winner, Jenny will enjoy another month of special privilages: the Employee of the Month parking spot in front of the main entrance, of course the--Mega-Mart mug, the gift certificate for dinner for two at the Lobster Barrel on 17th Street - good only on weekdays and does not include lobster - and the winner's plaque, which will be on display right at the main entrance for the entire month, which should inspire all of us.
[Monk and Christie look through Jenny's special privilages]
Tell me about the Lobster Barrel.
It's a family place. It's noisy, there's a million kids. You wouldn't last five minutes. It's got a great all-you-can-eat buffet with seven different kinds of shrimp: jumbo shrimp, batter-dipped shrimp, tempura shrimp...
Okay, stop telling me about the Lobster Barrel.
...barbecued shrimp...
Stop.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.