A hundred and fifteen? People that old, they die! It's like their job!
“Mr. Monk and the Very, Very Old Man” · Season 2, Episode 5
In this episode: Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (6), Adrian Monk (5)
Adrian Monk, have you studied the room?
Yes, I have.
Have you formed an opinion about the cause of Miles Holling's death?
Yes, I have.
And what is your opinion, Adrian Monk?
He... was murdered. [into Stottlemeyer's cell phone] He was murdered, Karen.
KSKaren Stottlemeyer
I knew it!
Sweetheart? I'm gonna strangle Monk, and then I'll call you right back.
So what do you think?
Well, why ask me? My hippie wife's a much better cop than I am.
Don't say that.
Look, I don't mind living in your shadow, Monk; you're a freak of nature.
Thank you.
[Monk jumps on top of the dining table to avoid a snake.]
I thought you were afraid of heights.
Snakes trump heights. It goes: germs, needles, milk, death, snakes, mushrooms, heights, crowds, elevators...
Okay, okay -- I don't need the entire list.
Monk, I'm going to say something I've wanted to say for a long time.
What is it?
I just solved the case!
You win. I give up.
Excuse me?
First thing tomorrow, I am going to call the Vatican, and I am nominating your late wife, Trudy, for sainthood! Because you are IMPOSSIBLE!
The lines! They're all... diagonal! I have to live here!
FORGET ABOUT THE RUG! THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE RUG! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?!? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE? You're the world's best marriage counselor! You could save every marriage in California! All people would have to do is live with you for two days! Two days, and they'd never complain about their spouse again!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.