[Eating a hot dog] What's that, beef or pork?
VAVendor Al
We use... [Does air quotes gesture] "meat".
Wh— why do you say it like that?
GGGeorge Gionopolis
We are required by law to put it in quotes.
“Mr. Monk Fights City Hall” · Season 7
In this episode: Natalie Teeger (3), Adrian Monk (2), Lt. Disher (2), Harold Krenshaw (2), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (1)
[Examining the cadavers of dead tourists] I, uh, talked to a clerk at a hotel. They were staying downtown at the Best Western. He said that they were a pretty quiet couple.
Yeah, they look pretty quiet.
Yeah, but they weren't this quiet. I mean, before last night they were just regular quiet, like, when they checked into the hotel.
Randy, I know what you mean. I was trying to be wry.
Oh, sorry, my bad. Do you want to say it again?
[In an unsanitary hot dog factory] I was buried alive once.
Yeah, I remember.
I was in a box. I was underground for three hours. And that box is now the second-most frightening place I've ever been.
[Harold opens a city hall meeting by speaking about the late Councilwoman Eileen Hill]
As you all know, we lost a dear friend this week. Eileen Hill's body was discovered earlier this morning. Let us pray that the San Francisco police catch her killer and bring him or her to justice. Or if they don't catch him, let us pray that Eileen's murder was the work of a random nut job, or frustrated ex-boyfriend, and not some kind of masked vigilante who, for some reason, has a personal vendetta against the city council, and is determined to slaughter us, one member at a time, picking us off when we least expect it, using a different, yet somehow appropriate method for each of his grisly killings! Amen.
[Harold is trying to figure out the identity of Monk's new therapist]
I'm talking about your new therapist, the mystery doctor, the genius you're always raving about. Who is he? Just tell me his name.
I can't tell you. It's privileged information.
No, it's not. What happens in the session is privileged. His name isn't privileged. People recommend therapists everyday. Am I right, Natalie?
I don't know. I'm just waiting for the conversation to be over.
Ok, fine. His name is doctor... Door.
Dr. Door? Is that the best you can do? I suppose if we were standing by that alarm you would've said "Dr. Bell".
[Natalie promptly spits water in Harold's face]
Oh god, Harold! I'm so sorry!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.