“Mr. Monk Paints His Masterpiece” · Season 6
In this episode: Natalie Teeger (4), Adrian Monk (3), Lt. Disher (2), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (1)
[Monk is painting in Natalie's living room, with all her furniture and stuff gone]
Mr. Monk, where is my stuff?
Outside.
Well, what if it rains?
Then your stuff will get wet. Art requires a little sacrifice.
[Notices that her curtains are missing as well] What? And my curtains?!
I need the light! Eastern light! C'est finis!
[Natalie is suspicious about Petya Lovak]
Yeah, Mr. Monk, I've been doing a little research on your friend Petya. I Googled him. At least, I tried to, and there's no record of him anywhere.
Natalie, people like Petya--important people, wealthy people--they are un-Googleable.
No, Mr. Monk, it doesn't work like that. It's not like an unlisted phone number.
Un-Googleable! End of discussion.
[Accidentally knocks over some junk, thinking it's a booby trap] BOOBY TRAP!
Randy! RANDY! It's not a booby trap! It's a spider's web.
What's going on? Did you break this [bike]?
Sorry.
You break it, you bought it. That's the rule.
It's a junkyard. How do you know if something's broken?
I know. I can tell. Look. [Picks up bicycle] This wheel is all bent! $40 bucks!
$40 bucks. No way.
[To Bennie] Mr. Wentworth, this is Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger. They're helping us out. I was wondering, could you go over the whole thing again, please?
Go over what? The guy was on my property, he tried to rip me off. He got what was coming to him, end of story. [Back to Randy] I tell you what. Give me $20 bucks, we'll forget about the whole thing.
I'm not paying for it!
What was he doing here? Mr. Wentworth, what do you think he was after?
I don't know. Maybe he needed a carburetor. People need carburetors.
He was wearing a $2,000 suit. And those are Italian shoes. I think he could afford a carburetor.
Maybe he stole the suit. That's possible, isn't it? Maybe he stole the shoes! Maybe he's on a spree.
The suit, the shoes, the carburetor. What kind of spree is that?
I don't know. An eclectic spree?
Do you have any enemies?
None that I can think of, except for this guy the bicycle thief [Points at Randy accusingly, then makes another attempt at reasoning with Randy]
Randy, give him five bucks.
Fine. [Takes out his wallet and hands Bennie Wentworth five bucks]
I wonder what happened to his partner.
What partner?
It's a dirt road out there. Very little dust on his shoes. Somebody must have dropped him off. Maybe they took off when they heard the gunshot.
[To Randy] Secure the road. Tell the crime scene techs to check for tire tracks. [Randy starts to walk away] Randy! Your bike! [Randy reluctantly picks up the broken bike and carries it with him].
[Natalie is carrying Monk's ugly portrait of her and about to throw it onto the burning pile of canvases]
Natalie, what are you doing? Hey, HEY! What are you doing? [He wrestles Monk's ugly portrait from Natalie]
Randy, let go! Come on, let me burn it!
[Holds up his hand] It's evidence! Secret Service are on their way. It's the only painting we have left. It's going to be Exhibit A.
Exhibit A?!
Yeah! It's big news, Natalie! It's going to be one of the most famous paintings in the world!
You're right. You're right, I'm sorry.
[Natalie puts her hands over her eyes to give herself "fresh eyes" to look at the painting. She turns away, and suddenly, she turns and runs back and tries to wrestle the painting from Randy once more]
Ow! Burn it! BURN IT!
[Grabs Natalie, and turns to the other cops] Grab that painting!
[Shrieking] OWWW! BURN IT!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
