HCHolding Cell Inmate
What are you doing?
I'm speed-reading.
HCHolding Cell Inmate
What's your rush?
I'm old.
“Mr. Monk Meets His Dad” · Season 5
In this episode: Jack Monk (4), Adrian Monk (2), Captain Leland Stottlemeyer (2), Natalie Teeger (1), Lt. Disher (1)
HCHolding Cell Cop
Jack Monk, your son is here.
[Jack stands up and sees Stottlemeyer]
I'm looking at you, but I see your mother.
Uh, no sir, I'm Captain Stottlemeyer. This is Adrian.
[Covering] That man looks just like your mother!
What I want? Two things. A: forgive me. Forgive your father. I was negligent and I was selfish, and I'm very sorry. And B is: get me the hell outta Dodge. But if you can only do one, I'll take B. I gotta be in Phoenix in the morning.
He never loved me! He doesn't love anyone except maybe Jack, Jr.!
Jack, Jr.?
His other son! He gave him a bike! I never got a bike!
[Aside] There's another brother!
SDStottlemeyer & Disher
Whoa...
[Jack and Adrian's truck is careening down the hill, out of control]
I gotta say something: I'm sorry! I'm sorry I wasn't there for you and Ambrose! I'm so sorry! Oh, I'm a bad father! That's all that matters!
MMonk
You're not a bad father! Look at Jack, Jr.!
He's a putz!
MMonk
What?
Actually, he's not even a putz! He dreams one day of becoming a putz! He lives downstairs in my basement, he smokes pot all day long, he steals money from my wallet!
MMonk
He's not a doctor?
No, I made it all up! I lied! I wanted to have a son I could be proud of! I didn't know I had one in San Francisco.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.