TV show quotes
[Jess attempts to seduce him in a secluded room] I... I don't think we should do this right now.
What?
Just... don't.
What is wrong with you?
You lead me on, then fuck me about!
No, it's... It's not like that.
Then what is it like?
It's complicated.
Ohh... That's it?! That's all I'm getting, "it's complicated"? Or, maybe it's me. I take it there wasn't a problem with the other 46? Do you know what? I've had enough of you and your bullshit head games. [Walks away]
Jess, wait.
[Back at funeral wake observing women] Some of these are very vulnerable, mate, right? You know, they're weak, bit delicate. It's time for some sweet, sweet bereavement pussy. Hmm! Ooooh!
I dunno about this.
'Course you don't. That's why you're still on that, innit?
Please stop flicking me.
Get your game face on. Hmm? Come on. Step up to the plate.
Hi, I'm Finn.
You've got something in your teeth.
[Reaches in mouth] Oh. [She walks away]
[Walks up to Nadine] It's tragic, innit, really? Fragility of life.
Mmm.
Tell you what, puts it all in perspective, really, all this, doesn't it?
Yeah
Mmm. Actually, no. It doesn't. I think that's just something people say at funerals when they can't think of anything else.
Ohh... Er... can I interest you in a dry sherry? [Nadine breaks out sobbing] What's the matter with you? Oi! Why are you getting upset?
She was a good person. I'm gonna miss her.
Let me sort you out. Um... [grabs a napking] an I just take that, mate? Cheers. Sorry, dude. [Hands her napkin] There you are. Thank you. It's all right. You're probably gonna feel like this for a really long time, you know, and then one day, you'll be sitting there and you'll suddenly realize that when you think about her, it's... it's a happy feeling, you know, instead of... just instead of it being so sad. I just think that's when you know you're all right. [Chuckles] You're right. It's depressing, innit? Well, it is a funeral. Yes, I suppose it'd be... So... bit disrespectful if we were all... downing shots of vodka and getting nude. [Nadine laughs]
Thank you.
That's all right.
You've... You've cheered me up.
No worries.
Can I ask... why have you got a number on your head?
Oh. It's a long story, really, that one. Very long.
Nadine.
Oh, I'm Rudy. Sorry.
How? How come I didn't see you at the funeral?
Er, I was, er, working.
Where do you work?
At the community centre. Yeah, I'm a caretaker there. I like to give a bit back to to community, to kids...
That's nice.
Mmm. Can I get you a drink, then?
Yeah... okay.
Yeah? All right, then, you stay there, Nadine. Two dry sherries coming right this way.
[Glances at clock] Is that the right time?
Eh?
I have to go.
No, don't go. Please don't. I wasn't hitting on you. I wasn't, if that's what you thi... But it's not that I don't think you're attractive, cos... you're beautiful. It's... The numbers, though, they don't mean anything. And... And the 100 thing, I- I don't give a shit about, so... just stay and have a drink.
It's been really nice meeting you.
Don't go. [Nadine leaves party] What? What the fuck was that?
You all right? How's it going?
It isn't.
I just met this girl who's really nice... and... different.
Great. I'm... I'm made up for you. You've finally found Miss 100. Maybe we should throw a little ceremony when you shag her, you know, bit of... bit of confetti...
Mmm.
Nice little trophy, ye-eah!
No. Wasn't like that. Wasn't like that. It was... it was something else, wasn't it? I've not... I never got her number. [Walks away]
[To self] Are we okay to mix sweet and savoury? It's just, I'm never sure.
I think you'll be okay. [Finn turns to her] You have nice eyes. [Bites into pickle]
[Being chased by Killer White Rabbit Man in hallway and eludes it narrowly in elevator pushing out its weapon golf club] Piss off, rabbit bastard!
Fuck me harder.
Really?
Yeah.
'Cause I'm already fucking you pretty hard, to be honest with you. I'm reluctant to fuck you any harder.
Oh, yeah, that's it, come on!
That's about as hard as I can fuck.
Oh, shut up.
Yep... Shut up.
Are you okay? I didn't... I didn't wanna do any damage down there.
That's good.
Yeah?
It's fine.
[Unveils himself from bedsides bed] Finlay!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?!
We've got major problems, mate.
Well, can't it wait?
No, it can't bleedin' wait! I've had to wait for you to ejaculate.
What more d'you want?
You get your shit together, right? Finlay!
[Walking out in hallway] What kind of rabbit?
I don't know what kind of fucking rabbit. They're all the same.
Well, actually they're not. Well, you've got the lop-eared, the American lop-eared, the French Angora...
Shut up, be quiet. It is a psycho rabbit and it is wearing a suit and it's got a golf club. That's all I know.
Right. Did it have a silky coat?
Just shut up! Shut up about the rabbit. That's all I know.
Right, okay. Did it have a silky coat?
[Slapping Finn's shoulders] Just shut up! Shut up about the rabbit! Seriously, man, be quiet! Fuck! We've gotta find the others!
Sorry.
All right. No... No, I'm gonna have to tool up. [slips keys off key ring as a weapon] Gonna have to... [chuckles] just gonna put 'em like that. See? Another one through there. Pshhew!
Ah!
[Strokes Finn's face with keys] Let's do it. [Walks away]
Hang on, I want one!
[Walks back] Attempts to slip off a key] Come... Come on, mate. Honest to God, do not have time for this sort of shenanigary, do we? If I could just get my finger under there, it wouldn't be so bad, but... I can't get it off, mate. [Walks away, repeatedly] You'll be all right... [Finn follows']
Fuck!
Sorry, but I need to ask... Why have you got a "2" on your head?
What, you've never seen a girl with a number drawn on her head? It's a fashion thing, you should try it.
You think so?
You could definitely carry off a number, something like... a... 7'? Maybe a 9.
Jess, can I talk to you?
Not now.
There's something I need to tell you.
Fine, go ahead.
Can we go somewhere a bit more quiet?
Why? So you can just fuck me about and drop me when you feel like it?
Um... See you later.
Mmm. Great. Thanks. So, let me guess. You don't want me but no-one else can have me either? I had you so wrong. I thought you were this lovely, genuine guy. You're just like all the others.
Hey. You're okay!
Why wouldn't I be?
You were kind of out of it. We... We found you out in the hallway.
Right. You the one that put me in the toilet?
Yeah, I- I... I felt bad just leaving you there like that.
Didn't touch me up or anything while you were moving me? Bit of the old side boob?
No. God, no. No.
Then why are my knickers on inside out?
[Slaps Finn's head] You...!
I- I- I didn't do anything. I didn't.
Tell that to the judge.
Oh, Finlay!
Oh, my God. I never... [splutters]
I'm joking. [She and Rudy One laugh] Hey!
No. No, th... Thanks a lot.
Anyway, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
Yeah. [Grabs Finn and pulls him away]
Have a good night.
Nice one. [To Alex] Hey, come on, drink up. We're goin'.
Why?
Because there's a giant white rabbit out there who's wearing a suit, he's got a golf club, and he's... goin' round killing people.
What rabbit?
What is wrong with you both? It's just a fucking rabbit! I told you!
Fuck me!
I told you he was out there.
Told me what?
The white rabbit. I said he was coming for us.
Richard, did you do this? Is this your rabbit, mate?
I haven't done any in a while. I didn't think it was gonna happen again.
Done what?
The storm. I dropped some acid and it got bad. It got really fucking bad.
[Leans into Richard] Mate, did you shit yourself? Dude, did you shit yourself? This hallucination... shat himself.
The white rabbit, it's become real!
Hang on a minute, so you've taken acid, there's now a giant white rabbit with a golf club and no-one's shat themselves, that's good.
We need to find Jess.
I thought she was with you.
She stormed off.
She... Well, we need to find her.
Oh, fuck!
[Jess is in hallway]
She's not in the bathroom.
Listen, she's bloody gone home. She'll be on the couch, all curled up, Maltesers, watching a film about boys.
Look, we need to find her.
You need to find her. This is your fault.
How's this my fault?
She was with you, then we come back and she's gone, so what happened?
Nothing happened.
Look, just stop. Me and Finn are gonna go and have a look at the funeral. Just ask around, man.
Fine, but if we're going out there, I want me own keys.
Really?! Fuck!
[Leans into inebriated woman] There's a rabbit out there, a fucking big one, and he's got this girl... [turns off music player and party stops dancing and turns to her]
Oi!
Who did that?!
What you fuckin' doing, man?
Okay... um... Sorry to break up this whole party thing, but I think I have something quite important to say. There's a white rabbit out there and he's fucking weird and... he's got this girl and she's unconscious, and I feel like maybe we should be doing something.
What does she look like?
You saw it too? Where did he take her?
He dragged her into the lift. She was bleeding. It looked pretty scary.
[Pushes elevator button] What the fuck's wrong with this thing?
Calm down, I'm sure she's okay.
I dunno, mate. She looked in a pretty bad way.
[All go in elevator] Hang... Hang on! Whoa, whoa. Just stop, hang on. Hang on. We don't even know where he's taken her, do we? [Nadine wipes off blood of basement floor button] Eh? Oh, she's in the fucking basement. Brilliant.
[Leaving elevator, to Nadine] Where you? Hey, whoa... You stay here, little lady. This is absolutely no place... man's work. It's dangerous. Right. Right, listen, right? Listen. [To Alex] You're gonna have to go down that way, we'll go down this way.
Why do I have to go on my own?
Because you're bigger than us.
[Whispers] Yes, he is bigger.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Misfits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
