Lauren Yung quotes from Melrose Place

Lauren

I had sex for money. I was a prostitute.

Ella

[after receiving a text message from Caleb on her BlackBerry] Mother...!

Lauren

Morning. You want coffee?

Ella

I want sleep and another set of opposable thumbs.

Ella

If I'm eavesdropping correctly, you just scored yourself another date.

Lauren

Hardly. It's drinks with a fellow intern.

Ella

Hot intern?

Lauren

Married woman intern.

Ella

Yes, but is she hot?

Lauren

[referring to Jane, Sydney's sister] Hey, what do you think of our new landlord?

Ella

Well, I can certainly see the family resemblance. She's got Syd's fangs.

God, I love yachts. Makes me feel like I'm in the South of France.

Lauren

This doesn't look like the South of France to me.

We can pretend, right? It's what we do. [referring to escort prostitution]

David

What, are you stalking me now?

Lauren

David, this is serious. That must've been thousands of dollars worth of diamonds.

David

Not really your problem, is it?

Lauren

Is it the thrill? Do you get off on doing this to people?

David

I see. First you're my doctor, now you're my shrink.

Ella

And here she is again returning home from yet another late night looking absolutely fabulous.

Lauren

What are you doing here? I thought you had a client dinner.

Ella

Nope. Client cancelled. Anyway, I need all the deets on who you're getting dolled up for, so spill. Who's the lucky guy?

Lauren

Believe me, there is no lucky guy. Just a lot of unlucky first dates.

Ella

You are being strangely secretive. You're not sleeping with a married man, are you? Or perhaps a married doctor?

Lauren

Ella. No married man. Doctor or otherwise. Drop it.

Ella

You know, Lor, gossip may be my bread and butter at work, but off duty, I can actually keep a secret. So if you want to talk, the odds are high I've been through the same thing that you're dealing with, at least once.

Lauren

I appreciate that. But my life's just not tabloid material.

Ella

[to Jessie Roberts] No more putting any of that crap up your nose. Otherwise, you're going to have to power lunch with River Phoenix. [Jessie gives Ella a clueless look] "Who's River Phoenix?" Oh, God, kill me now.

Lauren

[comes into Jessie's room] I got a page. W... Ella.

Ella

Lauren. Hi. How is my favorite doctor?

Lauren

You paged me?

Ella

Mm-hmm. I did. Come on, let's go chat. [Ella and Lauren go outside] Okay, listen, Lauren, I need a little favor.

Lauren

Mm-hmm.

Ella

Jessie Roberts is one of our biggest clients, okay? He is Zac Efron and the Jonas Brothers wrapped into one squeaky clean, heartthrobby package.

Lauren

Squeaky clean? Ella, that kid had so many chemicals in his system, it's a miracle he woke up.

Lauren

What are you doing?

Ella

[holding an envelope of cash she found in Lauren's wardrobe] I was just going to ask you the same thing, pretty woman. The late nights. The amazing wardrobe. The mystery men. How did I not figure this out sooner?

Lauren

Figure what out? My dad sent me that money for school.

Ella

Yeah, who's your dad, Tony Soprano? This is a brick of cold cash.

Lauren

He won it playing poker. He's been playing every Wednesday night, ever since I was a kid.

Ella

Lor, it's the middle of the afternoon, and you're dressed like a million bucks. Which better be in the ballpark of what you're charging.

Lauren

I was at a luncheon, okay? An interns special honors lunch. And I resent you interrogating me like I'm some kind of...

Ella

Prostitute? [Lauren yanks the envelope out of Ella's hand] You're right. I'm sorry. Having said that, if you help my client, maybe I can relieve you from some of your intern luncheons.

Lauren

You're not seriously still trying to get me to change Jessie's hospital records?

Ella

Wow, Lauren. I'm confused. You refuse to screw the system just a little bit, but you have no problem at all screwing...

Lauren

Hey. Seriously, stop.

Lauren

So I hope you're not sharing your ridiculous theories about me with the whole world.

Ella

No, I didn't say a word about my ridiculous theories, and I won't bring them up again... to anyone, including you. But if you're ready to talk about it, I'm here, and if you're never ready to talk about it, I will still be here.

Lauren

Yeah, Ella... [pause] There's nothing to talk about.

Ella

Understood. Now, can we go watch some movies? How about a Julia Roberts marathon?

Lauren

Okay, you make one more Pretty Woman joke, I will kill you.

Ella

Hey, I was going to say Steel Magnolias. Closest I come to that crying thing you people sometimes do.

Lauren

Talk to me, Ella. Yawning, the pacing around the apartment in the middle of the night. Let me guess. Still nothing but radio static from Jonah?

Ella

Deafening radio static. I mean, I did sell him down the river on that director credit, but... How am I supposed to apologize to him when he won't answer my phone calls? He's not even reading my BBMs.

Lauren

What's going on with you, El? The amount of people you've had mad at you, I have yet to see you get this bent out of shape over it.

Ella

I don't know. I mean, maybe it's because Jonah is one of the only guys I've ever known who I can truly be myself with. He gets me.

Lauren

And he's engaged, Ella.

Ella

Me... and Jonah an item? Lor. You and your scandalous imagination are spiraling out of control. It's kind of cute though.

Jonah

[referring to the blaring guitar sound coming from Drew's apartment] Oh, so not the cure to my hangover.

David

That is the new guy that moved into Auggie's place.

Ella

We traded zen chef for a poor man's Van Halen.

Jonah

Tell him to stop.

Ella

Yeah, you go get him, Lor. You do not bother that girl when she's trying to sleep in.

Lauren

Hello! Hi! [unplugs Drew's guitar from the amplifier and takes off his headphones] Excuse me! Hi!

Drew

Oh. Oh. Hey. Want to make a request?

Lauren

Yeah, shut up! Half of West Hollywood's trying to sleep.

Drew

Oh, crap, I'm sorry. I didn't know my speaker was on. I hate when that happens. Plus, had I known everybody was listening, I for sure would have played Clapton.

Lauren

Okay, I don't know who you are, or which tour bus you fell off, but I get to sleep in one day a year. And today was that day.

Michael

David needs to know what it feels like to have all the happiness in his life ripped away. I want you to break his heart. Whatever you have with him, end it.

Lauren

You can't be serious.

Michael

You break it off with him, or I tell the entire medical community that I got a house call from Dr. Lauren Yung.

Drew

[at Coal] Three margaritas, please. Is that cool?

Lauren

Yeah. But then what are you guys going to drink?

Drew

Finally, she's loosening up.

Riley

Very funny.

Ella

What is this? You're playing hostess?

Lauren

David's short-staffed. I'm helping him out.

Ella

Lor, no one volunteers to deal with a hungry public without an ulterior motive. If you're trying to win him back, just make sure your next paying job requires an I-9.

Lauren

Not funny, El.