David Breck quotes from Melrose Place

[talking to two other agents] So here's the thing. Your client has gone from inside the Actors Studio to outside of Coco de Ville doing blow with somebody else's boyfriend.

1Agent #1

We're agents, not babysitters.

She needs a new publicist. She needs me.

David

Ella, Sydney's in trouble. She keeps text-bombing me. I gotta go.

Gotta lose that leash, dude.

David

It's not like that. I'll call you later.

Hello! Excuse me. You're my ride.

David

[hands Ella a $100 bill] Here, cab it.

Who wants another shot?

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[after David was interrogated] Hey, O.J.

David

Look, Ella, I knew you could pull strings, but LAPD? That's huge. What did you tell them?

You couldn't have killed Sydney because you were at my place.

David

At 5:30 in the morning? Everybody's going to think that we hooked up.

Oh, so, it gives them something to tweet about.

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What are you doing in here? You better not be going through the medicine cabinet without me. After what I've just been through, I could use a benzo or 12.

David

All they had were blood thinners, not my thing.

You know what? I think you are just being greedy. Or you're lying.

David

I'm not the delinquent you think I am. Let's go.

I know you're a guy that Trudy's not the least bit interested in. I am so on to you, dude. You lurk around with this deep, dark brooding secret. You know it's only a matter of time before I find you out.

David

There's nothing to figure out. I am who I am.

Yeah, you're so full of it. That's who you are. And it is becoming more and more difficult for me to be friends with somebody who's hiding something from me.

David

If I show you something, you promise to keep it between us?

You're not going to flash me, are you? Because I think I've seen enough flappage for tonight, thank you.

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David

Shouldn't you be bobbing for olives in your after-party martini?

Change of plans. I canceled the red carpet close-ups for Jane's dress.

David

Won't that be the shot heard around the courtyard?

It doesn't matter. After I spread the word that Abby Douglas hated her dress, Jane's samples won't be fit to mop floors.

David

Yeah. I don't know if that's gonna be enough to stop whatever she has planned for you. Let me take care of it.

You?

David

Yeah. Jane was married to my father. The skeletons won't take long to find. I'll bury her.

Wow. I don't think anyone's ever offered to destroy an enemy of mine before. David... That's almost... romantic.

David

Or we could say that it's all about the thrill of victory.

Go with romantic... [they kiss] Let's go work on that alibi.

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I got the oddest e-mail from Jane. All's forgiven.

David

Really?

Uh-huh.

David

That was easy.

You know what could have changed her mind?

David

Maybe.

Wow. You weren't kidding about the toxic waste buried in your family history. Just so we're clear...

David

Mm?

What you did... amazing. But last night? Total one-off. [referring to their kiss]

David

Why? You can't tell me you didn't have a good time.

Oh, don't flatter yourself, David. I always have a good time.

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David

[on camera for Ella's birthday video] Ella, I've known you for seven months now and you're one of my closest friends and, uh, I don't have a lot of close friends. I'd do anything for you. And I do mean anything. So, if you want to start your next year off with a bang, you know where I live.

Riley

I thought this was supposed to be PG.

David

Hey, I try my best.

Riley

You're so not speaking at our wedding.

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David

El, if I'm gonna be your alibi, I need to know the real story.

Okay. Only if you promise not to tell a soul.

David

I promise.

I mean it, David. You say anything, and I will tell everyone that behind all the Prada, you're really the prince of San Berdoo.

David

Cough it up, El. What are you hiding?

Okay. You want to know the truth? The night Sydney died... I slept with a client.

David

I'm sorry, what?

I slept with a client.

David

That's it? That's your big confession?

Well, it is when their high-profile wife is also a client. Look, if this hit the blogosphere, I'd get 15 minutes of fame and a lifetime of peddling In-N-Out burgers.

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David

What, are you stalking me now?

David, this is serious. That must've been thousands of dollars worth of diamonds.

David

Not really your problem, is it?

Is it the thrill? Do you get off on doing this to people?

David

I see. First you're my doctor, now you're my shrink.

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What's up with the harvest fest in my living room?

David

Did Lauren say anything?

Just how super sweet and romantic you were. And some other stuff that I couldn't hear over the sound of my own gagging. David! When did you get cute?

David

Just a little dinner. It's not a big deal.

Uh-huh. Okay, fine. Play it cool, but I know that you're a cheese ball at heart.

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Don't you just love living here?

David

Who are you?

I'm an old friend of your father and Syd's. Actually, we all used to live here.

David

Good times. Hey, was there something in the chlorine back then that made you guys all so twisted?

Actually, I'm not sure it dissipated. Stealing art? Isn't that kind of a twisted way to make a living?

David

I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

Well, before Syd died, we reconnected, and she opened up to me. About a lot. David, I-I gave her something of mine, a keepsake. It hasn't shown up in her belongings.

David

I'm not a lost-and-found.

Well, if you don't have what I'm looking for, maybe you could help me find it.

David

Look, I'm all for helping out strangers in need, but after you walk in here accusing me of being some criminal, I think I'll pass.

All right. Just know that as an upstanding citizen, I may have to do whatever it takes to protect the community from thieves like you.

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[shows up when David and Lauren are kissing] Oh, geez. Please don't tell me you called me out here to be the "P" in PDA.

David

I texted you because I have an announcement to make.

Jonah

Hey, what's going on, David?

David

Last night, the police arrested my father. He was the one who murdered Sydney. We all know that Auggie was innocent, and now with the right man in custody, it's only a matter of time before he's exonerated.

I hope there's a greeting card for "sorry we all thought you stabbed the landlord to death."

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Jonah

[referring to the blaring guitar sound coming from Drew's apartment] Oh, so not the cure to my hangover.

David

That is the new guy that moved into Auggie's place.

We traded zen chef for a poor man's Van Halen.

Jonah

Tell him to stop.

[Lauren appears trotting toward Drew's apartment]

Yeah, you go get him, Lor. You do not bother that girl when she's trying to sleep in.

Hello! Hi! [unplugs Drew's guitar from the amplifier and takes off his headphones] Excuse me! Hi!

Drew

Oh. Oh. Hey. Want to make a request?

Yeah, shut up! Half of West Hollywood's trying to sleep.

Drew

Oh, crap, I'm sorry. I didn't know my speaker was on. I hate when that happens. Plus, had I known everybody was listening, I for sure would have played Clapton.

Okay, I don't know who you are, or which tour bus you fell off, but I get to sleep in one day a year. And today was that day.

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David

If you're here to help, there's some aprons in the back, you can bus some tables.

I don't know what that means. Anyway, I'm here to engage you in a teeny-weeny, almost nonexistent favor.

David

I'm a little busy here, El.

Well, not now, obviously. After work. Okay, look, I need to break into WPK to take my name off the fabricated accounting reports, and I don't exactly know how to work my way around a lock-pick.

David

And I do?

Oh, well, you didn't have a problem MacGyvering your way around your dad's highly-secured mansion.

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David

[after breaking into Gabe's office at WPF] The only thing we need now is the code. [Ella shows him the key code she took from Gabe] I'm not even gonna ask how you got this.

Let's just say my stock soared in the geek community today, no thanks to Jonah, who wanted nothing to do with this.

David

Like you didn't know what you were getting into when you set your sights on a guy with Jonah's moral center.

It might have occurred to me. Only to be complicated by the fact that I find his moral center one of his most adorable attributes.

David

Ella Simms... you realize that you just said "adorable", right?

I don't know what's wrong with me. Today at the fundraiser, I actually felt this twinge of jealousy.

David

Who would have thought that Jonah Miller would be the one to pierce the infamous Ella Simms' Kevlar?