God, what a day in the shoe store. We had a clearance sale. We had to get rid of all our size 13DDDD. The store was packed with women. Well, there were actually only two in the store, but it was wall to wall.
So, are you really sick? You're not trying to get out of going to see my mother.
Now, Peg. That hurts. You know how much I love that huge fat woman.
Once upon a time, there was a man who sold shoes. He was a good man, but somehow, good things never came to him. Did I mention he was a great athlete in high school? People cheered him. That was before the...Red THING appeared. Darkness fell on Shoetown. Who would take on the Red Beast? Who would battle? Who would marry it? The little shoeman stepped forward. Or perhaps the others just stepped back? At any rate, an unholy union was born. So were two unholy children. And the lowly shoeman, who once had been a mighty athlete in high school and scored 4 touchdowns in one game and had many offers to junior colleges and could've made something of his life! Laid down, and died. The End.
So, are you really sick? You're not trying to get out of going to see my mother.
Now, Peg. That hurts. You know how much I love that huge fat woman.
[Bud enters Bundy residence]
Oh good, Bud is back from the store. Did you get our gift for Grandma? Remember, it was one of those "larger women romance novels".
Yes, I remember. They were all sold out of The Pie Man Always Rings Twice, so I had to go with her second choice, The Red Fudge of Courage.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Married... with Children pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.