PPolly
Oh, my God. I'm supposed to be in court today.
“Watching the Baby” · Season 5
In this episode: Malcolm (2), Reese (2), Hal (2), Craig Feldspar (2), Stevie Kenarban (1)
Look, Lois will pay for these tomorrow when she comes in.
You can't take those! That's shoplifting!
Fine, then I'm shoplifting, What are you going to do about it?!
Vernon!
KKathy
[through crocodile tears] Do you guys want to go out on a date with us?
You pray... and you pray... and finally... it happens.
[Stevie takes a hit from his inhaler, then from his breath spray]
What do you mean, 'go out'? When? Where?
JJoanne
Right now. With us. In that.
[the boys rush to the window and see a stretch limousine] Oh my God. I bet it has a toilet! Dibs!
JJoanne
[later in the limo] OK, so here's the deal, freaks. Our boyfriends left us in the middle of the Fall Formal to go to some stupid party... So now we're gonna go to this party and make out with you guys in front of those inconsiderate jerks.
You want to make them jealous?
JJoanne
No, we want to make them puke! See, once they see us kissing losers like you guys, they're never gonna live it down.
You came over to our house and asked us out because we were the most disgusting guys you could find?
LDLimo Driver
Actually, some kid with a hunch back and gills turned them down. Said he had too much pride.
These girls want to fool around with us.
Only because we're losers.
Hey. We're riding in a limo we didn't pay for. We're about to make out with hot girls who don't even like us. I don't know what we are, but we are not losers.
Have you even thought about where this is going? Her boyfriend is Aaron Stepanovich. If he sees you kissing his girlfriend, he's gonna kill you!
I know.
Then why are you...
Because anything's better than the way things are now! Look, I've had this cute lab partner in science for eight weeks now. Her name is Cheryl. I finally left Cheryl a note on her desk asking her out. And when she read it, she turned to me and said: "Do you know who Reese is?" So then she goes, "Does ANYBODY know who Reese is?", and everybody shrugged. So then I said, "Probably some nobody". And you know what? I was right.
LDLimo Driver
Wow, that's awful, kid. You want to wear my hat?
So tonight, I'm gonna fix that. From now on, when I walk by, people are gonna say, "What happened to that guy's face?". And someone's gonna say, "That's Reese. He made out with Aaron Stepanovich's girlfriend." And that I can live with.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.