Mad Men quotes

Roger

[to Don] I'll buy you a drink if you wipe the blood off your mouth.

We're at 50% market share in almost everything we make.

Don

Because you have a big line of diverse and charismatic products. And you keep making more. Zip-tape. Styrofoam. Rovana. And why do you do that? Because even though success is a reality, its effects are temporary. You get hungry even though you've just eaten. At the old firm, we had London Fog raincoats. We had a year where we sold 81% of the raincoats in the United States.

Roger

Name another raincoat.

Don

But we didn't stop working for them because 81% isn't enough.

Tell me about napalm.

Roger

You mean that thing those kids outside your building are screaming at you about?

Don

Napalm was invented in 1942. The government put it in flamethrowers against the Nazis, impact bombs against the Japanese. It was all over Korea, I was there. And now it's in Vietnam. But the important thing is when our boys are fighting and they need it, when America needs it, Dow makes it and it works.

But it doesn't change the fact that we're happy with our agency.

Don

Are you? You're happy with 50%? You're on top and you don't have enough. You're happy because you're successful. For now. But what is happiness? It's a moment before you need more happiness. I won't settle for 50% of anything. I want 100%. You're happy with your agency? You're not happy with anything. You don't want most of it, you want all of it. And I won't stop until you get all of it.

Don

Why do we do this?

Roger

For the sex, but it's always disappointing.

Don

[to the partners] I already said no, or should I leave so you all can do whatever you want?

Marie

Not every little girl gets to do what they want. The world cannot support that many ballerinas.

[to Don, about Lane] You had no right to fill a man like that with ambition.

Don

[to Megan] You wanna be somebody's discovery, not somebody's wife.

[at a hotel] I knew you'd show.

Pete

Because I'm pathetic?

Roger

[to his psychiatrist] I'm just acknowledging that life, unlike this analysis, will eventually end, and somebody else will get the bill.

Hello, gorgeous.

Joan

[uncomfortable] Hello, Herb.

Did you get all gussied up for me?

Joan

No. I had no idea you would be darkening my doorway.

When are you going to come out to the lot? I told I'd let you have a Jaguar for as long as you want.

Joan

I take the bus.

I know there's a part of you that's glad to see me.

Joan

[looking at his gut] And I know there's a part of you that you haven't seen in years.

Don

[to Pete] I wish you would handle clients as well as you're handling me.

Trudy

We're done, Peter. This is over.

Pete

You want a divorce?

Trudy

I refuse to be a failure. I don't care what you want anymore. This is how it's going to work: You will be here only when I tell you you can be here. I'm drawing a 50-mile radius around this house, and if you so much as open your fly to urinate I will destroy you. Do you understand?

Pete

You know what? You're going to go to bed alone tonight, and you're going to realize that you don't know anything for sure.

Trudy

I'll live with that.

Harry

"Broadway Joe on Broadway". Did anybody in this room think of that? I did.

Pete

What the hell is that?

Harry

It's $150,000 worth of incremental business I generated while solving a problem. And for what? So I can stand outside that door and watch you all in here?

Don

What did Dawn do?

Joan

Well, I'm almost positive...

Harry

Just keep listening to her, because she's a partner! You know what, I'm sorry my accomplishments happen in broad daylight, and I can't be given the same rewards.

Pete

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Harry

You know damn well! The next time this group is called to order, I expect to be sitting at this table. I've actually earned it.

Don

The greatest thing you have working for you is not the photo you take or the picture you paint; it's the imagination of the consumer. They have no budget, they have no time limit, and if you can get into that space, your ad can run all day.

Peggy

Don't do anything stupid.

It's too late. I'm going to Harlem in a tuxedo.