Dickhead, you'd better be positive about this.
I hate it when people call me that. I'M VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY HEAD! Bastard!
[in thought] Sure you are... penis with ears.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Lupin sees a phone ringing in a shark's mouth. He answers it]
Call me back. I'm busy.
Oh, dear. The Lupin I know wouldn't act so cold.
Who's that? Oh, Fujiko.
I'm in San Francisco, and I need your help.
Oh, you're in Frisco? Right, I'm on my way. [As he hangs up, the shark bites him on the hand. A wave crashes onto him. As it turns out, he was dreaming, and the wave that hit him was water from a vase he knocked over while trying to put the receiver back. He lies half out of his bed, still holding the receiver]
You said you were stuck to the seat with super glue? Be careful not to peel your back.
I have to hurry and help Fujiko.
[dismantling the bomb] In Chinatown? [He pulls out the connecting wire] Right, got it.
[Lupin flexes his back, but the bomb is still stuck to him and the entire back of his clothes is torn off]
Guess not.
Whoever touches this bubble when it bursts instantly loses their short-term memory.
[He lets the bubble float and walks away]
Hmph. Ridiculous. [The bubble bursts on the brim of Jigen's hat, and he stares ahead in a trance. Lupin steals the gun Jigen was cleaning and swaps it with an ice cream cone. Jigen breaks out of the trance and rubs a handkerchief on the ice cream] Huh? What the...? [Lupin laughs, and Jigen throws the ice cream into his mouth]
Here you go, back-ash-wards.
DADirector Aran
ICPO approved the use of six tons of pure gold for this operation. And the operation failed. Naturally we have to take the blame for it.
[crying] Because of my failure... I apologize.
DADirector Aran
You don't have to apologize to me. What's done is done. And you're not an Inspector anymore. Forget about Lupin and go back to Japan.
Director Aran, thank you for everything during my time in the force. [He walks away in tears]
You damn interloper! Mind your own business! Not mine!
Well? Scared yet? If you feel like running away, this is your last chance.
FFlora
I don't feel like it. [Lupin looks bewildered] If you're trying to drive me away by scaring me, it's not working. [Lupin trudges away, then stops and glances back at Flora] I've made up my mind to follow you to the end. [Lupin looks surprised. Flora runs to him with open arms] Do what you want with me, Lupin!
[disturbed] Just kidding! Joke's over!
[He flees and tumbles into the sea]
[over the phone] Fujiko dear!
[in the bath] Lupin, I won't see you any more.
Sorry. Just wait for me. Kissy kissy!
Calling Fujiko again?
Geez, where's he off screwing around? At this rate, we'll find the pearly gates before we find the Megas treasure.
[Zenigata is stuck on a magnet, with Budweiser pinned between them. He strains to pull himself loose]
BDr. Budweiser
Ouch! Let go of me!
Sorry, doctor. I'm doing the best I can. [He tries to pull himself away] Damn you, Lupin! He tricked me into wearing a suit of armor because of this magnet. [He gets his right arm free] Damn it, I can't get loose! [His left arm is now free as well. He continues trying to heave himself away. Some time later, Zenigata is fully free. He runs out of the safe and looks around] Alright, Lupin! You're mine! [He sees a glass case with smouldering ashes coming from it] He tricked us with this smoke, saying that it's poisoned gas! Wait a minute! He made us believe that he left through the tunnel... But he's actually probably gone to the roof!
I was distracted again. I must improve my mind.
[wearing a chef's hat and apron and holding a frying pan] Thanks a lot. I couldn't find the can opener, so it was a big assist.
Still, what a flake. Doesn't this guy know about libel laws?
[Lupin has just told Jigen he heard that the Minister needs Arsene Lupin's treasure for something]
[scoffing] Ridiculous. I heard the Minister of Justice is going to run for President. He's just using you as campaign fodder.
Yeah, it seems like it.
By the way, why does the Minister have your grandpa's treasure?
Well, the story I heard is that is that grandpa was screwed over by some broad. And she was the Minister's mother.
[Jigen laughs]
That's hilarious. It's just like you and Fujiko.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lupin III pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.