Zenigata quotes from Lupin III

I came here to have breakfast... I mean, arrest you.

[harried] ICPO hate putting people up on travel. They're so damn stingy on expenses.

If I arrest Lupin know, they wouldn't know what to do with me! That's why I let him go on purpose.

Darn you, Lupin... Huh? I feel sleepy. [He muzzily makes out a group of masked men breaking into the armored car] Hey, wait! [A man grabs Zenigata by the arm and holds a knife to his throat] You're not Lupin's gang. [He bites the man's hand, causing him to scream in pain and lose his aqualung, and judo-throws him] Don't underestimate me. I, Zenigata, am not so easily... [He collapses by the wall, sedated by the gas and sound asleep]

"Cool my head"? Asshole.

I'm glad you saved my life, but the problem is we can't communicate.

You fool! What, do you think you'll stop me?

Not at all. But stay here if you don't want to die.

That man is something else.

Well, he won't be for much longer. After all, he's going be executed. [He imagines himself at Lupin's trial] Death penalty! Death is the only suitable sentence for Lupin the Third! I devoted my entire life to capturing Lupin! I came into being solely so I could arrest him! He should be executed! Death penalty! Death! [Next he imagines Lupin being executed in various ways] The verdict: I sentence Lupin the Third to death! [He imagines Lupin crying pitifully at his trial. In his office, Zenigata sweats and anxiously buries his face in his hands as he wonders if this is what he really wants]

Well, Inspector, would it make you happy if I were Lupin?

Huh? [He bursts into derisive laughter]

What if I'd switched places with the real Fukuroko when you left the room earlier? [Zenigata stops laughing] And what if all the cops here... [He reveals his own voice]

... Happened to be my men? [Zenigata sees the cops dropping their masks and grinning. He charges forward]

Lupin! [Lupin blows thick smoke from the cigar] Damn it, Lupin!

[near tears] Damn that Lupin, acting all high and mighty.

Inspector, calm down.

[anxious] But...

It's unbelievable. A billion dollars, it's all gone. Sunk in the ocean, for what? All for revenge. What a waste.

I just can't get over it. Old Pops, the constant pain in the rear, who hounded me across seven continents, is gone forever. It's really true what they say in the song, you don't know what you got until it's gone.

[crossing himself] Everybody's gotta go sometime. It's all just a long goodbye, Lupin.

Zenigata is now with his ancestors.

[choking up] Poor Pops.

Lupin, you weasel! We had a deal! Get your butt over here!

[relieved] Pops! Is that you? We thought you were dead! Oh, I could kiss you, ya big lug! Let's get out of here, guys! The chase is on again! Woo-hoo!

Wait, Lupin!

Now, be a pal and pose with those transvestites. Come on, it's for my scrapbook.

I'd never do that. I'm a police officer.

Fine, fine, whatever. But don't just stand there like a big stiff. Smile at least, or something. Come on.

This is my smile.

[dryly] Big surprise.

Yep, that sedative would stop a Brahman bull. Prepare to be roped, tied and branded, little dogie. You can sleep it off on your way to prison, on a nice long flight. Not much legroom, but you won't notice. [He imagines wheeling a suitcase through the airport, with a dazed Lupin crammed inside. Zenigata imagines himself getting out a syringe] A little more? Just say no to drugs, kids. [He imagines himself injecting Lupin with the liquid and the thief passing out. Back in reality, he searches for where to aim]

Head... neck... shoulder... heart... [He sets the crosshairs on Lupin's navel] Ah, perfect! There we go.

Huh? [The dart hits Zenigata's forehead] Ow!!

You alright, sir?

Yyyyeeeeessss, just fiiine.

Inspector Zenigata! [Zenigata yawns] Bloody hell. [Zenigata falls over backwards and passes out] Now what do I do?

I need a seat on the next direct flight to Cairo.

If that's your idea of a joke, sir, it's not appreciated.

Listen, I don't know what the hell you're talking about, pal, but I need a...

This is an Israeli airport, sir. There are no direct flights to any Arab country.

Look, you, this is the last time I'm gonna ask you nicely. Get me a flight to Cairo!

Security! Hurry! We've got a lunatic!

No! Wait! Please! I'm one of the good guys, really!

You know, you got a point there. So, then, where would he be?

He must be in the Valley of the Kings.

Much obliged, Fujiko.