Lupin quotes from Lupin III

Pops, is that big aeroboat going to fly?

Yes, today they will test it.

I see, that's the story behind that Albatross spark plug thing. [Zenigata grabs his face and pulls hard] Ow! Ow! Stop it!

Oh, it's in here?

It's not my fault.

Fujiko. Fujiko.

Lupin.

You're not hurt?

I know you look serious but this really must be some kind of joke to you!

Yo, Pops, are you alright down there?

[poking his head through the bars] Lupin, how dare you! Don't move! I'm going to get you right now! [He realizes his head is stuck and manages to pull it back through the bars. The barge starts moving] Stop that!

Next time, pick a better trap for me! [He laughs loudly]

[angrily shooting at Lupin] You think it's so funny to make a fool of me?

Well, now. Pops, what are you crying about?

Lupin, I've never been so touched like I am today. I really respect Jigen's decision. He is a man among men.

What?

Listen, Lupin. I'll let you go until Jigen does his job. Go for it, Jigen! I'm rooting for you!

Sounds like someone thinks he might not measure up.

Oh, that's ridiculous, man! I have a fourteen-inch doggy dick and don't you forget it!

Nothing like a tall glass of juice after a near-fatal sauna.

Excuse me, but I thought you might like to know that you now have no choice but to lick my sweaty fucking testes.

Stop it! Turn it off, please!

And then, when you couldn't beat my father fair and square, you cheated!

Hah! I could have broken into that safe blindfolded, but I didn't! And you know why? It was out of compassion for your father, you bald fuck!

That's a desperate lie. I'm not a bald fuck, I wax!

Call me back. I'm busy.

Oh, dear. The Lupin I know wouldn't act so cold.

Who's that? Oh, Fujiko.

I'm in San Francisco, and I need your help.

Oh, you're in Frisco? Right, I'm on my way. [As he hangs up, the shark bites him on the hand. A wave crashes onto him. As it turns out, he was dreaming, and the wave that hit him was water from a vase he knocked over while trying to put the receiver back. He lies half out of his bed, still holding the receiver]

You said you were stuck to the seat with super glue? Be careful not to peel your back.

I have to hurry and help Fujiko.

[dismantling the bomb] In Chinatown? [He pulls out the connecting wire] Right, got it.

Guess not.

Whoever touches this bubble when it bursts instantly loses their short-term memory.

Hmph. Ridiculous. [The bubble bursts on the brim of Jigen's hat, and he stares ahead in a trance. Lupin steals the gun Jigen was cleaning and swaps it with an ice cream cone. Jigen breaks out of the trance and rubs a handkerchief on the ice cream] Huh? What the...? [Lupin laughs, and Jigen throws the ice cream into his mouth]

Well? Scared yet? If you feel like running away, this is your last chance.

I don't feel like it. [Lupin looks bewildered] If you're trying to drive me away by scaring me, it's not working. [Lupin trudges away, then stops and glances back at Flora] I've made up my mind to follow you to the end. [Lupin looks surprised. Flora runs to him with open arms] Do what you want with me, Lupin!

[disturbed] Just kidding! Joke's over!

[over the phone] Fujiko dear!

[in the bath] Lupin, I won't see you any more.

Sorry. Just wait for me. Kissy kissy!

Calling Fujiko again?

I was distracted again. I must improve my mind.

[wearing a chef's hat and apron and holding a frying pan] Thanks a lot. I couldn't find the can opener, so it was a big assist.

[scoffing] Ridiculous. I heard the Minister of Justice is going to run for President. He's just using you as campaign fodder.

Yeah, it seems like it.

By the way, why does the Minister have your grandpa's treasure?

Well, the story I heard is that is that grandpa was screwed over by some broad. And she was the Minister's mother.

That's hilarious. It's just like you and Fujiko.