Lupin quotes from Lupin III

[holding Lupin lightly by the back of his jacket] I got you right in the palm of my hand. And I'm not lettin' ya...

[pulling himself free] No wonder you never caught me.

[attracted to a disguised Zenigata] What would I have to pay for her?

Trust me, you don't want her.

Why not?

Uh, well... I mean, it's just... [Zenigata makes a show of cuddling up to Lupin] You know... I love her so much. [He fake sobs]

Alright, get going.

Thank you. What a nice man.

Zenigata, with Interpol. Would you give me a lift?

Ja, sure.

I'm beat. [He gets in] It's ten o'clock. Why is it still light out?

We have a thing here called the midnight sun, and it...

THAT WAS RHETORICAL! THE POINT IS, I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN A WEEK!

Ah, well. Here, try this eye mask.

Oh, yeah? Huh. [He ties it around his face, then yawns]

[not realizing Zenigata is already asleep] I'm guessing you got some tip about Mr. Lupin.

[startled] ARGH! WHERE? DAMN! LUPIN! [He holds up his hands] Whoa! I can't see! What's goin' on?! Hey! Is it... the apocalypse?

It's just the eye mask. You're fine.

[sheepishly] Uh... I knew that. [He looks out the back window] Damn midnight sun's a menace!

So, what's Lupin doing here?

Well, it isn't really that clear yet. Could be, he's trying to make his way to the North Pole. Yep, it's the closest place to the old midnight sun this time of the year. He'll blast off in a rocket ship and steal it, I tell ya. I just figured it out. He's gonna steal the sun, mama, so he can get away with everything. [The officers exchange confused glances] But I'm not gonna care at all, 'cause it's gonna be... so dark.

Is that Pops in the back seat, blindfolded?

Sure looks like it. Poor guy just can't seem to catch a break.

Hi. How's it going, guys? Mind if I borrow your lighter for a second?

There's no smoking in our town.

[reaching in through the back window] Ah. It slipped my mind.

Hey! Wait a minute! Lupin did it! Seen that everything's all dark!

Inspector, take off your mask.

I didn't... talk in my sleep or anything, did I?

[as Zenigata rubs his eyes] Not a word.

So then, what's the plan?

What the hell do you think? Plunder.

Because?

Huh?

Just think of the consequences if we didn't do it. One of those girls is going to die, and do you want that on your conscience? I know I don't and... Uh, well...

Go on.

And because... it's what we do.

Uh, yeah.

Come on, Lupin, please just let him catch you this one time.

So, I guess this means we're going to be giving up together.

It does?

Sure! That's the power of love.

I, love you?

You see?

I'm not fooling around.

'Cause this is all you need.

You're gonna need a doctor.

[feeling like he's having to come between a pair of squabbling children] Just shut up, you two! Both of ya!

Mommy. [He yawns] What a nap.

Are you all right?

[sitting up with a rose in his hand and an amorous expression on his face] You tell me. [He leans in to kiss Fujiko, surreptitiously placing the flower into her shirt, and she slaps hm] Hey, what the hell kind of greeting is that? I mean, especially after that touching tribute that I gave you on my headstone.

[sarcastically] Yeah. Real romantic.

[forgetting part of his phone conversation with the mortician] Hey! That's just crass!

Wait a minute, Lupin, you were bitten by that bitch, weren't you?

Something... [He takes off his fake neck] ... just happened to come between us.

But a loon like that, I mean, this treasure could turn out to be a bunch of sumo wrestler bobblehead dolls or a big ball of tinfoil, y'know?

It's possible. But it's said that among his possessions was a sword, called Tsukikagemaru.

I have no idea what that means, Jigen...

I just explained that to you, it's a sword!

... But it sounds important to him, so whaddya say?

Hard at work, I see. So, how's it going?

Not well at all.

Because you are not trying.

Hey, you're sitting there like a Buddha! I'm working my ass off!

Who the hell's the new woman in your gang?! I thought you only had eyes for Fujiko!

I swear, I don't know what you mean!

You can't fool me, Lupin! I just saw Fujiko in Tokyo, vamping some rich stud.

What? What? But, but, uh...!

Hey, don't blow a gasket there, Pops!

I'll blow whatever the hell I want to! [He gets hit in the head by a falling gold coin. He catches it in his hands as he lies on the ground] Hey, wow!

[pouting] Aww... it's just not fair.

Now, for the last time, do you want to know where Lupin is or not?

Of course. I flew all the way over here, didn't I? Start talking.

The Himalayas.

... The what?

Edelweiss, edelweiss, you look happy to greet me. Edel- uh, uh... [He sneezes]

[about Kaguya] Goemon, look, I know she lied to us and everything, but come on. Cut her a break. Have a heart.

I'm not angry with her, it's that damn Fujiko I want to kill!

Hey!! Fujiko!!

Lupin, I can't share it with you! I don't know if there's enough for two!

I don't want any! Do you know what it is?! Do you?!?

Yeah, an eternal youth potion of some kind. Why else would she want it?

You idiot! Kaguya had that created for her very sick husband! He's in a coma!

Yeah, it sucks being deceived like that, but at least it was all for a good cause.

Yes, well, perhaps that is true, but still, the act of betrayal by Fujiko was unforgivable and merits the very harshest punishment.

Here, here!

Lupin, I think he really means it!

She's sorry! Really! She's learned her lesson this time, haven't you, Fujicakes?

Uh...

It's not real harsh, maybe, but it sure as hell's funny.