Senator Whitehead quotes from Lucy, the Daughter of the Devil

You're playing it pretty cool with me. Very, "get out of my face". Very "I'm not impressed with your power and money".

Lucy

You are an enormous douche bag!

Just wanted to let you know that we're on schedule to announce my candidacy for President. Friday night! The big sacrifice at Bohemian Grove!

Satan

Ugh. Two sacrifices in one week?

Master, you have to come! I mean, this one is just like friends and family, but Friday's the real one.

Hey, uh any requests for who we should sacrifice?

Satan

I don't know. Don't you usually do that? I just show up.

I gotta tell ya, this is not just any event. Imagine the most amazing dance party, slash orgy, slash political summit on the planet.

Okay, I'm imagining that.

Did you see Eyes Wide Shut?

Yes, I did see that.

It's like that, but Alan Greenspan will be there. And Bono.

I need you to give my fuck-up son a job. It can be anything; I just need him tucked away somewhere during the campaign. He's a registered sex offender. Did you know that?

Satan

Uh, I'm not surprised. I mean look at him.

Dude! You're naked!

Yes, I woke up naked on the docks and I decided to come straight to work.

Nice dick!

Thank you

What I'd give for half of that. DJ Jay, spit some beats for that politicians dick