I find that people make Los Angeles their home for one of two reasons: They're running from something, or looking for something.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
When were you going to mention that you're personally involved in this case?
When you asked me.
Dr. Linda had a crash course on celestial beings. It only melted her brain for about a week.
Doctor, this is my mom in a disturbingly hot body.
Detective, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I doubt it.
I bet you an arm and a leg, Mom, that he has no idea what today is.
That's not particularly wise of you to wager your lovely extremities, Detective.
Consider me an emotional jockstrap for the Decker family jewels.
You've got a lot of nerve.
Yes, I've been told. And legs for days.
Lucifer Morningstar is many things, but he is not a liar. Everything that Mr. Morningstar said on this stand is absolutely true. I was the first person on that crime scene and, yes, I shouldn't have been anywhere near it. But... I... let my emotions get the best of me. [clears throat] Lucifer is the... best partner... I have ever had. And I can only hope that he can count on me [voice trembles] as much as I count on him.
PDPenelope Decker
I used to believe everything happens for a reason. But now, I'm not so sure.
[chuckles softly] Me neither. But I do know that no matter how bad things get, the true test is how we choose to respond to the pain we suffer... or inflict.
PPenelope
That's well said.
[preparing to write in a notebook] Okay, a list of everyone you've slept with in the last eight weeks.
Right, you'll need a much bigger notepad.
SSuki
[to Lucifer] You're my perfect man. Like porn and stuffed crust pizza and my 'Hello Kitty" blankie all rolled into one.
[Maze has just revealed that Dan slept with Charlotte Richards.]
[to Lucifer] Dan slept with Charlotte?
Trust me, you're not half as disgusted by that as I am.
Is there anyone who hasn't slept with that woman?!
Uh... [raises a hand]
I had an epiphany of sorts. You deserve someone worthy of you. And that isn't me.
That's not what I've been saying, Lucifer.
I know. It's what I'm saying. You deserve someone better. Because you, Detective, are selfless to a nauseating degree. You always put your daughter first, even though the ungrateful urchin does nothing to contribute to the rent. [Chloe chuckles] So, you deserve someone worthy of that grace. Someone who knows every crime scene breaks your heart, even though you'd never admit it. Someone who actually appreciates your impossibly boring middle name, "Jane". And more importantly, Detective, you deserve someone as good as you. Because, well, you're special and I'm... I'm not worth it.
[Chloe wakes up from a sex dream involving her and Lucifer, only to see Maze sitting nearby eating popcorn.]
How was it?
What are you doing in here?!
What? I heard you scream, so I ran in to see if you were in danger. [amused] Then I figured out what was really going on. So I stayed to watch the show.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lucifer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.