If you change your mind, my door is always open.
Well, feel free to shut it.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I don't buy it. Every time you say that you don't care or you're evil or you're the devil, I know that's not who you really are.
Seriously? A sex swing?
I know, right? Wanna hop on?
(to Dan) Look, people like you. they find you helpful, like duct tape or a trusty socket wrench. I want you to teach me your secret. I want you to show me how to be a tool.
What's the job?
Preschool aide
Do you like little kids?
I've dealt with filthy screaming humans before. At least these are smaller.
You're a demon. He told me. I thought it was a sexual metaphor.
Well, you're not wrong there.
Actually, there is something that's been bugging me, Detective. Do you mind if I play the me's advocate for just a second?
What's the job this time?
Topless maids. But apparently, I still have to do some cleaning. Screw that.
Come on. Let Mazikeen Smith buy you a drink. Maybe I'll devour your soul or something.
I think I've broken my therapist. And now she's somewhere to the left of totally useless and to the right of babbling lunatic.
Oh, so she's you in a skirt.
Come clean with me. Or I can't keep this a secret anymore.
You see, that's just it. The last person I came clean with became a tad untethered.
Dude, I grew up in Detroit.
[Linda is still processing the fact that Lucifer has been telling her the truth about who he is]
Oh, my God. I had sex with the Devil.
Many, many times. And you're welcome.
That's why great ideas come in the shower.
For me, it's usually women.
Favors are about faith.
Ugh. Please don't ruin favors for me.
It's not my home, it never was.
And neither was Hell.
No. No, that was somewhere I was sent as punishment. Like the DMV, but less screaming.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lucifer pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.