Oooh, Diplomatic ID. Very handy for getting out of parking tickets
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Sophie and Tara developing a plan to switch briefcases in the middle of a crowded party.]
You start a fire in the kitchen, I grab the briefcase, we use the crowd for cover.
I was thinking of something a little less...trample-y?
How do we disarm it?
You're asking me?
You were in the Army.
You stole paintings. That doesn't mean you know how to draw.
[Hardison is being chased by some very angry dogs when Sophie calls]
What? I'm busy!
Look, I just sent you a picture.
Oh, let me guess, it's a picture of another handsome dude. [looks] Okay, it's a bomb! Umm. whooo...
Yes, it's a bomb. Now just stop playing with that dog and help us!.
Alice, yeah, it’s okay. You were just looking out for me. And now I know your secret.
You do?
Yeah. (whispers) You’re a spy.
Mm. That’s right. I am a spy.
What a relief.
Whew. And that is why I cannot tell you anything else about what I do.
Mnh-mnh. National security.
Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. I get it.
Listen, Parker. I wanted to apologize about giving you the cold shoulder about Hardison earlier.
Oh, that’s okay. I think I figured it out.
You did?
Yeah. I mean, I was worried at first, ‘cause Hardison and I are different, the stuff we like. But I just spent all night with Mattingly, a guy who likes all the same stuff I do. And you know what? It would have been more fun with Hardison. So I guess the same is boring.
So, what kind of work you in, Shelly?
If I told you, I'd have to kill you.
BBonanno
[laughs] Yeah, right.
Yeah, he really would.
Yeah, he went to jail, then escaped.
Shouldn't that bug you?
You get used to it.
[Two thugs chasing Hurley and Nate]
T1Thug 1
The church! They're in the church.
T2Thug 2
I'm not just busting into a church to kill two men.
T1Thug 1
What if they're in the church basement? If they're in the church basement then we can kill 'em.
T2Thug 2
So you're implying that the church is holy, but the church basement isn't?
T1Thug 1
You don't say Mass in the basement. The church basement is not holy ground.
T2Thug 2
So what, it goes: Holy ground, uuumm, the basement, holy ground?
T1Thug 1
The Boy Scouts meet in the basement and they're not a religious group.
T2Thug 2
A Boy Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent. Reverent is there at the end because it is, if not a faith-based organization, not entirely secular!
T1Thug 1
How do you know the Boy Scout oath?
T2Thug 2
We all had dreams once.
[While searching for Hurley's hotel room, Eliot offers Hardison relationship advice]
This about the guy that Parker took the picture with?
Yes, it's about the guy that Parker took the picture with. Who goes to a cocktail lounge in a tuxedo -- who do you think he is?
I don't know, man. I mean, what do you want me to do?
He's not even her type, did you see him? She likes chocolate, you know she likes chocolate. You saw her at the Chocolate Festival, she was eating chocolate! Gettin' it!
Gettin' it!
Maybe every once in a while take the hoodie off, put a suit on, maybe light some candles, back away from "Witch of Warcraft" and take care of…
I'm 'bout sick of you and all my games, it makes…
[Hardison starts to open the door to Hurley's room]
Hang on…
What!?
Why's it dark?
I don't know.
[Gunshots fire from inside the room]
Hey, we beat up some dancers.
Dancers?
Yeah.
Those were Mexicans.
“A night of tango celebrating the culture of Venezuelans.”
The first two guys were Mexicans.
They’re Venezuelans.
Twinkle-toes back here knows a little more than how to do the tango, all right? They aren’t dancers.
We messed up they whole career -- all screwed up. Let’s just check the room.
NNate
So the local branch of the cartel is gonna take delivery of the drugs and kill Hurley to cover their tracks.
What do the Irish want?
Nate They want to steal the delivery and kill you to send a message.
That's a lot of killing me in there
They're not coming back with that pizza, are they?
You get used to it.
All right, this bar is the last address, man. Maybe I should handle this one by myself.
So, what, you don’t need me, either, now? You don’t need me?
Listen to me, okay? So Parker’s out with a handsome guy, okay? And he’s also a thief and also does cool thief “stuff,” and you’re the computer geek, dude --
Is -- is that your pep talk? Are you kidding? Wh-what the hell’s going on? Really?
It’s a little rough, but the fact --
It’s a little rough? A little rough? As a friend you’re dead to me. Please, do go on. What are you trying to say? I’m not exciting? What is it?
That’s not what I’m saying. If I said that, then that means I would be thinking about you and Parker, which I never do.
Than say what you need to say. What are you saying?
Maybe you’re slow-playing it just a, just a little bit.
I’m slow-playing?
You know what I’m sayin’.
Like, I need to be more assertive or something?
Assertive is good.
More assertive?
Yeah, focus.
Like the definitive Dexter’s dictionary definition of -- All right, cool. That’s all I need. That’s all I need.
Come on.
You know what? I got this.
Nate, I know I'm not your friend, but I want you to know, you are my friend.
NNate
Thanks.
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