Of course I'm a racist, I'm a dirty cop!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
ITIrish Thug
Why is there a nun's habit without the nun?
NNate
Rapture!
NNate
Go ahead, say it. Go ahead.
I-I’m just saying--
NNate
Saying what?
--he loves her.
NNate
Oh, come on. Men like that treat people like possessions. You should know that.
Oh, just because he’s rich doesn’t mean he’s heartless.
NNate
Of all people, you’re actually --
He was wrecked. You don’t have a romantic bone in your body.
(Eliot walks up, laughing)
NNate
Oh, really?
And you’re one to laugh. You don’t even bother to learn their names. They’re just waitress, nurse, stewardess.
First of all, it’s flight attendant, all right? They don’t like being called stewardess. And, second, I know their names.
Parker (walks in): You guys having a three-way?
What?
NNate
What?
Three-way fight?
It's, like, an assembly line of grift.
Ooh, sparkly.
NNate
Parker, no burgling.
But these jewels are just asking to be taken.
Want me to teach you about the wines again?
That's just hurtful. Just...just making assumptions and presumptions that I don't know what I'm-- Yes, I need you to teach me about the wines again, yes.
They were married less than a month later.
See, love at first sight.
Yeah, she wanted to get hitched before the background check came through.
Come on. Fisticuffs? Really?
Let's go steal a sweetheart.
[shakes head]
A widow?
Nah.
A spider? A spider.
[Parker has just received a Venus Flytrap]
It eats flies. A plant that actually does something.
In my dealings, I've discovered an innocent who's been wronged. An engineer's invention was stolen by a corporation. If you and your team acquire the patent, you can prove the company owes him millions.
NNate
[scoffs] You make a few investments ahead of time, bet against our opponents.
A finder's fee. You punish. I profit.
This is my shot. This time I run the con.
NNate
Oh, no.
Oh, yes
NNate
Oh, boy.
If you let me run the con from the beginning, you would have found out that the Madsens melt down their daily intake of gold and ship it out to their brokers at the end of every day. That vault is almost always empty.
So you knew it was empty. Hardison, I'm gonna tell you something. I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay? You ever pull this again, I am gonna personally make sure you're off this team, 'cause I'm gonna break every bone in your body!
Now, what I did was hack questions from the Kleinfeld-Ochs psych indicator into his applications.
What?
It's a test designed to measure preferences in how people perceive the world. You know, I had a lot of psych exams as a kid. They're actually pretty easy. Well, sometimes I made my doctors cry, but...
And I've got a surprise. Bam! Code names for us to use on the comms during the mission. Parker, you're "Gold." Sophie, you're "Silver," Nate, "Mercury," and Eliot, "Mr. Punchy."
You kidding me with that one?
[Hardison shows him the animation punching]
All right, that's pretty good.
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