Hardison quotes from Leverage

Did you clean out Moscone's accounts?

I left him five dollars for socks.

Hello? Hey, hey, hey! Hey, guys. W-What's up?

Where are you?

I'm at the office. What happened--there was a thing--my electricity went out.

Eliot

I swear, when I see you--

My electricity, man--

Let's see what we can learn about Nathan Ford today. Online poker? Online chess? Sudoku. Crossword. What...damn. Somebody needs to get laid.

Hardison.

What's up? Yeah?

Are you in my chair?

N- No, I--I'm not--I'm not in your--I'm at a desk--my desk--in my office, w-waiting on your call so you can tell me what I can do to help you a-and the team, boss. What's up?

You can stop now.

Appreciate it.

And, Hardison?

Yeah?

Don't forget to turn off my computer.

Well, how in the hell...[turns off computer]

What?

Nothing. It’s just...I could've sworn I saw a maintenance guy get in that elevator.

A--A maintenance guy? Wow. Real nice. I bet you think we all look alike.

That's not what I meant.

You know what? If I have to go to one more of those damn sensitivity seminars, I know who I’m blaming.

No, no, no.

I know who I’m blaming.

It's not what I meant.

I blame you! You!

Yeah, they transferred me from the second floor.

Well, I don’t know what it was like in consumer integrations, but let me tell you, I have been working my butt off on this account. But Steve, no, he's just sitting back, waiting for me to fail. So he can swoop in and save the day. I swear, it's like he's a rogue and I’m a mage and we're part of the same guild, but secretly, he's at work with the Alliance to undermine us.

For the Horde.

For the Horde. [fist-bump] You play 'World of Warcraft?'

You kidding? Did you get the new expansion pack? Woman, I was up all night. Now, look, I mean 'Burning Crusade' was great, but this new one is mind-blowing.

Hardison...you bailed on the job because you were up all night playing a game?

First off, "game" is hardly adequate, okay?

Have you even gotten into Haldeman’s office...or have you found a way to screw that up, too?

I'll figure something out.

You can't skate by on talent and luck forever.

Parker, the device you found--is it anywhere near an orange box?

Parker

Yeah.

Oh, god. They tapped into the black box.

Parker

No, no, it's not black. It's orange.

Yeah, the black boxes, they're orange. Makes them easier to find in the debris.

Parker

Oh. Oh...

Hardison, we need you!

I don't--I--I don't know, Nate. I don't--I mean...I--I can override the software attack, but that means we would have to restart the flight's electrical system, which I have no idea how to do, because my knowledge of aeronautical engineering... is kind of limited to what I can pull off of Google in the next two minutes. And, brother, I don't--I mean--

Listen to me! You can do this! I trust you! No matter how many times you goof off or screw up, you always come through in the clutch. You're the only guy I can count on in a situation like this.

You know what? I--I--you...you're right. You're right. I got this.

Yes! Yes! Yes, you can!

You're right. You're-- I'm the man. I'm the man. I got this. I'm gonna do this.

Parker

Then do it already!

Whoa! [gets up and dances] Baby! Unh! Age of the geek! Smooth! Too smooth! Lord, I was so scared, I wanted to cry, call my mama. Y'all cool? Y’all cool?

Yes, cool.

Family. All right.

I have the attitude problem? No, brother, no, you got the attitude problem, okay? I gave my heart and my soul to this damn company, and this is how you repay me? And on my birthday!

He was always so thoughtful.

I never liked that guy.

Eliot

Where the hell is he at?

Maybe he overslept.

Eliot

No. He doesn't oversleep. This guy sets an alarm to set his alarm.

Parker

"A man with one watch knows the time. A man with two is never sure."

Sophie

Huh?

Parker

I had fortune cookies for breakfast.

Okay, run it.

So, what, you had left-over Chinese for breakfast?

Parker

No, just the cookies.

Do you put milk on the fortune cookies? ‘Cause I don’t...

Parker

It's not cereal. It's a fortune cookie. You don't dunk it.

Sophie

So, uh, you can write that little check now, eh?

Hey, why can't they all be this easy?

Of course not. We have to go to Miami. My dad's the one who has to write the check.

Aw, hell, why they all got to be this hard?

All right, Sophie, do not take the check.

Parker

What?!

Eliot

What?!

I’m sorry, what?

Now, don't tell me this makes you squeamish, 'cause it's all legal. I just found a...a loophole.

I said, "do not take the money."

Now, you tell him this.

Sophie

If what you're saying is you want to do real business, then I might have an opportunity for you, but it's for serious investors only. This is not something I would ever present to your brother.

Interesting.

Sophie

Hardison, where were you when it mattered? He asked me to tear up the check, so I tore up the check.

I didn't make the decision to throw away everybody else's money, okay? That was you and Nate.

Parker

Y'all are in cahoots.