Hardison quotes from Leverage

To do: hack the National Artifact website. [sarcastically] Yay. What else?

The--the Spruce Goose? The Spruce Goose, built by Howard Huges, the Tony Stark of the '40s, biggest plane on earth, made of all wood, wingspan-longer-than-a-football-field Spruce Goose?

Oh, come on. These dudes traveled 10,000 lightyears to get here. You're gonna scare them off with a putter?

I get to fire a laser. YAY!!! Geeking in the kitchen. Uh, makes me want to dance!

I can make blue spaghetti or I can blow a safe.

You mean we gotta drive through a gunfight and not get shot like it's the Batmobile?

It's got every database...NSA, CIA, FBI, it's got hard backdoors into most commercial systems, live feeds into every security camera on the grid. Man, if this wasn't such a gross violation of our civil liberties, I would be in love right now!

Age of the geek, baby... I am the Grape Gatsby.

Parker

Can I have one?

You can have the whole box.

Eliot

What are you going to do when she finds out you live with your mom?

Age of the geek, baby. We run the world.

Eliot

You keep telling yourself that.

Eliot

This thing safe?

Yeah, it's completely safe…it's just you know, if you experience nausea, weakness in your right side, stroke, strokiness…

Eliot

You're precisely why I work alone.

Guys, listen up. We're going on my count, not a second sooner. Parker, no freelancing.

Eliot

Hey, relax. We know what we're doin'.

And on the count of five, four…

Aw, he doesn't want to be our pal.

We're on the count! Five, four, three…

Parker

[runs by and jumps over the side] Yahoooooo!

Eliot

She's gone!

Son of a—!

Eliot

That’s twenty pounds of crazy in a five pound bag.

Eliot, what I want you to do is clear the zone and use Hardison as bait.

Bait? What? Hold up. Wait a minute. I know you ain’t talking about me, I ain’t nobody’s bait. [to device] Come on baby, work for me baby, come on, baby.

Parker

They reset all the alarms on the roof and all the floors above us. We can’t go up.

Eliot

Every man for himself then.

Go ahead, I’m the one with the merchandise.

Parker

Yeah, well, I’m the one with an exit.

And I’m the one with a plan. Now, I know you children don’t play well with others, but I need you to hold it together for exactly seven more minutes. Now, get to the elevator and head down. We’re going to the burn scam.

Going to Plan B?

Technically, that would be Plan G.

How many plans do we have? Is there, like, a Plan M?

Yeah. Hardison dies in Plan M.

Eliot

I like Plan M.

Anybody else notice how hard we rocked last night?

Eliot

Yeah, well, one show only, no encores.

Parker

I already forgot your names.

It was kind of cool, being on the same side.

No, we are not on the same side. I am not a thief.

Parker

You are now. Come on Nathan, tell the truth. Didn’t you have a little bit of fun playing the Black King instead of the White Knight, just this once?