Hardison quotes from Leverage

Nate, we got a problem. This place isn't just off the grid, it's in a whole damn time warp.

Parker

Definitely 1850s. Before the Civil War.

It's old? That's the problem?

It's prehistoric. It's totally analog, all manual. There's a junction box on every damn floor. There's no computers, nothing to crack, nothing to hack. [Lights flicker off and on] And that is on my last nerve.

Hardison, what's the rule?

Don't bring up a problem unless you got a fix.

I take my gear, attach it to the wiring, see what draws the most power by sending out some pulses. Maybe we can find the main control room.

Yeah, or anything big, like a state-of-the-art safe filled with blueprints.

Either way puts us back in business.

Well, see? Problem, solution.

This place is friggin' ginormous. It's gonna take me a while.

Then I suggest you get on it.

(Muttering) He's always got to be telling somebody what to do. "Get to it." He doesn't even know what a pulse map is.

Wait, wait. What the hell's going on down there? Nate killed somebody?

Eliot

No, Nate didn't kill somebody. You didn't, did you?

Of course not.

Parker

You'd tell us, though. Wouldn't you?

Yes, Parker, I would tell you if I murdered the mark.

Eliot

Stop! Stop with the Star Trek stuff again!

Wars! Damn it, it's Star Wars. And-and that C.G.I. Yoda they used in the prequels is an insult to the puppet they—Y-you know what, man? It's not even worth discussing.

Eliot

You're the only one discussing it.

Parker

I kind of like C.G.I. Yoda.

Rockwell's brilliant, he's ruthless. Stone-cold solid. It's a shame we got to take the man down. I'd almost consider making him a part of the team.?

Yeah, uh, Rockwell has his boot on my friend's throat, Hardison.?

I said, "almost."

Parker

[on grifting the mark] I think I'm getting better at this

I'm cloning Rockwell's cell phone right now. Good work, girl.

Parker

I didn't even stab him!

Yeah--W-w-we are so proud of you. Uh...No-stabbing Wednesdays, new tradition.

Sophie

Well, the guy we're clearing out was a fireman for 43 years and just donated a kidney to his best friend.

We're not gonna hurt him.

Sophie

I'm just saying, it's lucky we don't believe in hell.

Nate believes in hell. Shoot, I believe in hell.

Sophie

Oh, yeah.

All right, Hardison, how'd that speech come out?

Oh, it's some of my finest work.

What am I supposed to do with this? "You can be a hero, too." Who the hell wrote this crap?

Excuse you? Let's see you do better on such short notice. People are just ungrateful.

It was reckless.

Parker

It was worth it.

Eliot

Yeah, this time.

Parker

(to Hardison) Bet you're starting to like that C.G.I. Yoda a little bit now?

Yeah, when he gives back the childhood he stole from me. Why don't you just ask me to join the dark side? Go ahead.

Eliot

Where are you at?

I'm in a damn storage closet. Smells like mothballs and old people.

What do you got?

Oh, probably just my sensitivity to dust mites. It's what happens when you send me to the hall of records a second time.

You know what, man, if I get out of this job without upper-respiratory issues, it will be a miracle.

Yeah. (puts a tissue against Hardison’s face)

What? Really? This? What -- nasty. Don't know where this has been. (drops tissue)

Oh. Hey. Could use a little help, neighbor. Had myself a snafu. Or you could just stand there like bougie city folk, coldhearted, unhelpful.

Get this. (approaches Hardison) You don't look like a farmer.

Excuse you? Miss city and sadiddy? Ain't you heard of the urban farming revolution? See, look here. Big business calls food a hormone sandwich with a side of pesticide fries. I'm trying to bring it back. Real chicken. You probably eat just an old butter nugget.

Eliot

She gotcha, man, you got a little blood right there.

Yeah, she got a right hook like a freight train.

Eliot

She put her hips into it?

I'm pretty sure she did.

Eliot

That's my girl!

Stop. Don't teach people how to do that!

Isn't anyone mad at Sophie? Hardison, she punched you in the face.

Takes a real man to take one for the team.

Eliot

Hey, whatever you need to keep telling yourself.