I loves fishin' in Kwee-bec..
Who doesn't love fishin' in Kay-bec?
Great fishin' in Kyu-bec!
I fuckin' hate Quebec...
Get this guy a fucking Puppers.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I still don't know what the fuck you're saying, but other than Georges St-Pierre, every Frenchman is a fuckin' pussy! So youse better simmer down and I mean right now!
JGJean-Guy
(in French) Go fuckin' listen to Bryan Adams in Saskatoon. You're a fuckin' loser!
Well, why don't you go to a poutine festival in the Thetford Mines?
JCJean-Carl
(in French) Go have a fuckin' rodeo in Moose Jaw, cowboy!
Why don't you go canoe in the Three Rivers, you inbred fur traders?
JPJean-Pierre
Go eat a Nanaimo Bar in Kamloops. Manger la merde!
RRosie
It's not easy telling a guy you don't want to see him because you want to stay in and read.
Let's test this theory. Dary, say you asked Bonnie McMurray out on a date and she says I'm going to stay in and read.
She up to somethin'.
Dan?
Oh, she's definitely up to something.
Wayne?
Must be a pretty good book. Must be like… The Road.
Boys, I wake up in the middle of the night dry-heaving at the amount of bush in this room.
We thought tummy-stick hedgehogs were extinct, boys.
Shave your fuckin' junk hair, boys.
It's disgusting, boys.
And Shorsey is the guiltiest of 'em all!
SShorsey
(farts)
Reilly will be your bush inspector.
And Jonesy will be your associate bush inspector.
What's the stupidest thing you ever heard in your life?
I would like to say, but it's impolite to talk politics at the breakfast table.
I'd also likes to say, but it's impolite to talk religions at the breakfast table.
Is that fuckin' joker wearing number 99, bud?
This is our chance to make it up to Gretz, bud.
Hey, 99, you fuckin' loser.
Are you fuckin' serious nines?
How dare you wear that number, you piece of shit!
That's the Great One's number, you fuckin' donkey.
Think you're Gretzky, you piece of shit?
Gretz probably smashed your mom in the '80s, bud.
I'll get the white tape out and turn those double nines into double zeros. You're a fucking nobody.
Fuckin' serious nines?
When's Mess get here, bud, you're fuckin' hilarious.
When's McSorley get here, you fuckin' plug?
Suck my knob! What a fucking piece of work, bud.
Piece of shit.
The fucking audacity.
Woolwich Taffy Cone Harvest I.P.A. from Wellesley, Ontario. Boastful, yet reserved. Opinionated. Selective. Elmira maple syrup, Skinner Farms smoked bacon. [sips] Hmm, tastes like a tragedy occurred while making breakfast.
I haven't smashed a pumpkin on someone's doorstep since grade nine, boys.
I haven't stuffed an egg up a tailpipe since grade eight, boys.
I haven't silly-stringed a car since grade seven.
I haven't TP'd a tree since grade six.
Yeah, but do's youse have an ablibi?
We definitely have ablibis.
I'm glad you asked about ablibi.
We've prepared a PowerPoint presentation.
Relationships. It's a lot of work.
RRosie
Do what you love....
And you'll never work a day in your life.
MMrs. McMurray
Your wardrobe colour scheme looks like a bi-polar spell! Get those cocksuckers off your feet!
Pardon?
MMrs. McMurray
The ankle socks, you fuckin' sally. How does your wife let you leave the house lookin' like that, huh?
My wife died three years ago.
MMrs. McMurray
Yeah, well, one look at you and it's clear she's in a better place now, you fuckin' asshole!
Don't you remember when that plane had to land on the river in New York 'cause Canada Gooses flew into the engine? It's 'cause Canada Gooses likely had intel there was a pedophile or two on board and took matters into their own hands. As they should!
No innocent people hurt either.
So like, what are we supposed to call you then? Our gay buddies from the gym, or…
DDax
We took gay in the expansion draft from you about a hundred years back.
Butch?
RRon
Shout out to our sisters in the women's league.
Fruit?
DDax
Fruit had a cup of coffee in the show a few decades back, but never really produced for either of us.
Bear?
RRon
You guys released bear a while back for under performing and we got her at a friendly price. Been a real stud for us ever since.
Cub?
DDax
Cubs been consistent since he put her on line with bear.
Poofter?
RRon
Still playing overseas, likely gonna retire there.
Nellie?
DDax
Only your grandpa remembers that alumni.
Homo?
RRon
Homo maybe in your ring of honor, but never forget the body checks our goons threw down to end that career.
Queen?
RRon
Queen is the best arena music of all time. But still, it's only for some.
Reilly (to Jonesy): I'm not fucking saying it.
RDRon and Dax
Fag.
Not sure that's P.C., but you said it.
RRon
Fag got cut in the '80s, and may have cleared waivers, but we all made a gentlemen's agreement not to sign it because of behavior detrimental to the league.
You gotta respect athleticisms, Connor Moist-Gregor, Conner Moist-David, Floyd Moist-Weather. Why, they're all at the top of their classes.
They're all driving Moist-eradis, that's all I know.
May even a Rolls Moist. Or maybe a Moist-cedes Benz.
No Moist-subishis Eclipses in this bunch.
They're not using Capital One Moister-Cards.
Buerger's Disease
Was it Buerger's ?
Yes, Buerger's
Didn't she get treated at the Mayo Clinic?
Yes. She got her Buerger's treated with Mayo.
Did she do that to catch up to the competition? Did she ketchup?
Yes. And despite her Buerger's , she never beefed with anyone.
She relished a challenge. That was a challenge that she relished.
She worked her buns off. She worked the buns off her Buerger's .
No cheesy moves.
Let us all be inspired by her. Lettuce.
No hot-dogging. Just Buerger's .
Gotta crack a snappy for the Winstagram, buddy.
Yeah, couple of pickies for the chickies.
Gymstagram, bro.
Instapicks, instachicks.
Gotta provide people with proof you're pressin' pounds, otherwise what's the point? Am I right?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Letterkenny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.