Abbie Carmichael quotes from Law & Order

Carmichael

Your Honor, the defendant was identified by the witness and can be linked to the weapon. It's a matter of luck he's not here facing a murder charge. The People request half a million dollars bail.

Something more reasonable, Your Honor?

150, cash or bond. [to the stenographer] That's thousands, Arthur. May 15th. Next.

McCoy

Any indication it's Clemente?

Carmichael

The cops asked him for a DNA sample, he refused.

McCoy

Did he have a reason?

Carmichael

Outrage. He says the suspicion of him is racist.

Schiff

Only Hispanic professor on a white campus. Could be he's right.

Carmichael

Could be he did it.

McCoy

Let's make sure we're not trashing this man's reputation just because he's uncooperative.

Carmichael

But let's not let it go just because he's screaming racism!

Carmichael

Peter Kelly's been expelled.

McCoy

What does he care? Probably go into the family business.

Carmichael

As long as it doesn't require a conscience.

Carmichael

Malenkov's gotta be making a quarter of a million a month by massaging sore muscles.

McCoy

Ain't America grand?

Carmichael

You've gotta hand it to him, though. He's been here 6 years, he's working the system like a slot machine. I'm still trying to figure out alternate side of the street parking.

We weren't ignoring your requests. As a matter of fact, we had a meeting with our lawyers about it.

Carmichael

What did ya'll decide?

Much as we'd like to cooperate, it would force us to reveal trade secrets which would damage our ability to remain competitive.

Carmichael

Trade secrets? Mr. Weber, you make guns, not soda pop.

Defense attorney

You're taking the death penalty off the table with the city screaming for blood?

McCoy

The victims families need closure, not blood.

Defense attorney

My client's a healthy young man. Life without parole, that could be 50 or 60 years.

Carmichael

He could always take up smoking.

Carmichael

Jack wants the jury to make a finding of emotion, not of fact. This isn't a trial. It's gun control by other means.

McCoy

They can sell guns on the internet. Talking about control is a joke.

Carmichael

So this is your answer? Putting gun makers in jail?

McCoy

I'd like to start by putting Rolff Firearms out of business!

Carmichael

Responsible adults can own firearms without the entire country sinking into criminal anarchy.

McCoy

What's the point? Maybe when the redcoats were coming over Bunker Hill.

Carmichael

How about somebody 6'5" coming through my door? The people have a right to defend themselves!

Jenny's been emotionally abused, maybe physically. She lashes out when her anger reaches the boiling point.

Carmichael

So we lock this girl up?

Get used to it. There are more and more girls committing violent crimes. I don't see anything from Jenny except a future of escalating antisocial behavior.

McCoy

What makes you say that?

Emotional abuse. The snuffed cat. Blacked out photographs. Her lack of response when I went after her.

McCoy

Fantasies about hurting little boys.

Previews of coming attractions. She's graduated to murder, she's not going to stop.

Carmichael

You sound pretty sure.

The kid's a done deal. She's a textbook serial killer. You just got her early.

Carmichael

The laws for the rich are different.

McCoy

What laws for the rich?

Schiff

This teenager commits the perfect crime.

McCoy

I know, it's hard to believe. C.S.U. luminoled every conceivable spot in the building and they didn't find a drop of blood.

Schiff

Kid gets off, father buys him a bazooka

McCoy

How did he clean up all that blood?

Carmichael

He got an A in Home Ec?

Carmichael

[about Regina Mulroney] Why is everyone afraid of this woman?

Schiff

Regina's favorite joke: What's the difference between a lace-curtain Irish and a shanty Irish?

McCoy

Lace-curtain Irish move the dishes before they piss in the kitchen sink.

Schiff

She's shanty Irish, and proud of it.

McCoy

And so am I.

Carmichael

How do you wash it off, Jack?

McCoy

Wish I knew.

I appreciate you seeing me, Mr. McCoy.

McCoy

This isn't a courtesy. You have information regarding this homicide?

I have. We do.

McCoy

You understand there's no offer of immunity, for either you or your son?

Mr. Dantoni merely seeks the same offer your office provides any other crime victim.

McCoy

Crime victim?

This is a strange situation for all of us. I'm used to handling my own problems my own way, but this is different. My son did not commit any murder.

McCoy

That's the extent of your information?

My son's a moron, but he's not a murderer.

Carmichael

So he's only half a chip off the old block.

Green

[about Malone's spending habits] Four grand in one week telling a stripper how to take her clothes off.

Carmichael

You guys are such suckers!

Carmichael

What do you call this?

Green

Besides a bunch of crazy, rich white people with too much time on their hands?