Ed Green quotes from Law & Order

Briscoe

Always a dime short and a nickel late.

Green

What the hell does that mean?

Briscoe

What do you want from me. It's 2:00 in the morning.

Green

Hey, are you a doctor?

No, but you should see my mom smile every time somebody asks that.

Green

So, how is this compared to other factories?

So you wanna know if this is a sweatshop?

Green

Is it?

We have air conditioning, soda machines with ice, good heat in the winter and we get paid what everyone else gets paid for an 8-hour shift. How's that?

Green

You got any openings?

Briscoe

[comparing bike tracks] These don't look at all alike. How can you be sure they're from the same bike?

You know, I thought the same thing, too. But, after comparing mold offsets, site pattern and center ridge appearance...

Green

You passed out from boredom?

Green

Your PO told us you'd be crashing at your grandma's crib.

Yeah, she ain't here right now.

Briscoe

You know, you haven't talked to your PO in quite a while. That's a parole violation. You oughtta give him a call.

I've been busy.

Briscoe

Yeah, murder has a way of screwing up your whole schedule, doesn't it?

Green

We could check his email.

Briscoe

What do you wanna bet it's all spam?

Green

I'm surprised you even know what that is.

Briscoe

I used to think it was lunch meat.

Briscoe

I knew being Chief of Detectives had its benefits. I didn't know they included a table at Raimondo's.

Green

I hear the food here is really good.

Briscoe

Oh, it's to die for.

Green

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I'm actually starting to feel real sorry for this dude.

Briscoe

Hey, we were one out away from the World Series!

Mr. Yoshida, what was your reaction when you heard police had apprehended a suspect in your wife's death?

Relief. And also sadness. Nothing can bring Tamiko back, but I'm glad the man who did this will pay for his crime...

Briscoe

Yeah, so are we.

Detectives.

Green

We wanted to welcome you back personally.

Briscoe

We brought you a gift from the city of New York.

I don't understand.

Briscoe

You like jewelry? [cuffs Mr. Yoshida] Bracelets.

Green

Hiroshi Yoshida, you're under arrest for the murder of Tamiko Yoshida.

Green

Young wife, old groom, wedding night. Maybe he died of a heart attack.

Briscoe

Like my mother used to say, play with kids your own age.

Green

We're gettin' BlackBerries next year.

Briscoe

Yeah. Next year.

Green

What is up with you?

Briscoe

[sighs] I'm puttin' in my papers, Ed.

Green

What?

Briscoe

It's time.

Green

Really? What are you gonna do?

Briscoe

I don't know. Play golf, shoot pool, lay around in the sun. If I get bored, maybe I'll try the DA's office. Pick up an investigation here and there.

Green

Aw. Damn, Lennie!

Lt. Van Buren

Can I help you?

I'm Fontana.

Lt. Van Buren

Oh, hey, Anita Van Buren. This is your new partner.

Green

Hey, man. Ed Green.

It's about time they gave me a partner with a little smooth.

Green

[as Fontana leaves] Wasn't sure if he was a cop or a wiseguy.

Lt. Van Buren

Make it work, Ed.

When you were a kid, did you ever call your old man by his first name?

Green

Not unless I wanted to smell the Aqua Velva on the back of his hand.

Green

Robbery-homicide?

Robbery-suicide.

Green

That'd be a first.