Jack McCoy quotes from Law & Order

Your honor, my client is 10 years old. She has teddy bears on her bedspread and a Big Bird piggy bank filled with pennies, and she killed a child. It's so incongruous, it's almost inconceivable. Dr. Olivet has testified that because of her age, and because of the way her brain works, she simply couldn't appreciate that as she struck Aaron Polansky with a rock, she was killing him. Jenny thought she could revive him with a 1-1/2 volt battery. It speaks for itself. Mr. McCoy's position is to ignore the question of responsibility and brand Jenny Brandt a killer. She'll never change. We have to put her away. People change. If anyone can change, it's a child. And Dr. Olivet has emphasized that this will not happen in a state mental hospital. Mr. McCoy's solution is a solution of last resort. Please, don't give up on her, judge.

McCoy

Jenny got dealt a lousy hand. I look at her with pity and regret. But Jenny Brandt is trouble. She battered Aaron Polansky's head and stuffed him in a pipe. Miss Sharkey wants us to believe that she didn't appreciate what she did. I don't agree. Jenny daydreams about killing small boys. She even had a trial run with a cat, but ultimately what she could or could not appreciate is irrelevant. Jenny is a loaded gun! She has a cocked fist with a rock in it! She needs to be stopped before she kills again! Dr. Olivet talks about sending Jenny to a state institution like it's a death sentence that turns the world upside down. Aaron Polansky got a death sentence! Jenny would get treatment. Now, everybody knows state psychiatric care could be better. But letting Jenny get away with murder won't help this girl. How will she ever appreciate that her actions have consequences if there are none? And how many children will she kill before the adult criminal justice system can take over? Do we have to wait and see? Miss Sharkey would like us to cross our fingers and hope. Hope that it won't happen again. I have my own kind of hope. I hope the state doctors can find a way to fix this girl. I hope that it takes 6 months. But until they do, we can't afford Miss Sharkey's brand of hope. We need to protect the Aaron Polanskys of this world from Jenny Brandt.

Carmichael

The laws for the rich are different.

McCoy

What laws for the rich?

Schiff

This teenager commits the perfect crime.

McCoy

I know, it's hard to believe. C.S.U. luminoled every conceivable spot in the building and they didn't find a drop of blood.

Schiff

Kid gets off, father buys him a bazooka

McCoy

How did he clean up all that blood?

Carmichael

He got an A in Home Ec?

Carmichael

[about Regina Mulroney] Why is everyone afraid of this woman?

Schiff

Regina's favorite joke: What's the difference between a lace-curtain Irish and a shanty Irish?

McCoy

Lace-curtain Irish move the dishes before they piss in the kitchen sink.

Schiff

She's shanty Irish, and proud of it.

McCoy

And so am I.

Carmichael

How do you wash it off, Jack?

McCoy

Wish I knew.

I appreciate you seeing me, Mr. McCoy.

McCoy

This isn't a courtesy. You have information regarding this homicide?

I have. We do.

McCoy

You understand there's no offer of immunity, for either you or your son?

Mr. Dantoni merely seeks the same offer your office provides any other crime victim.

McCoy

Crime victim?

This is a strange situation for all of us. I'm used to handling my own problems my own way, but this is different. My son did not commit any murder.

McCoy

That's the extent of your information?

My son's a moron, but he's not a murderer.

Carmichael

So he's only half a chip off the old block.

Carmichael

She denied knowing her mom had Parkinson's, she lied about the money, she's 0 for 2 and counting.

McCoy

Getting her paws on that money is a pretty good motive for a murder.

Carmichael

Except it's her step-dad who pulled the trigger. Wow, what a cozy little family this is turning out to be.

McCoy

Once you turn to necrophilia, incest doesn't seem so bad.

Carmichael

Moore must be feeling pretty stupid sitting in Riker's while Debbie is out spending up a storm. He might be in the mood to deal.

McCoy

I'm not. Get a search warrant for her office and home. We find evidence they had an affair, they can both rot.

They hung me upside down by my ankles and burned me with cigarettes. They put electrodes on my tongue and my eyelids. They would not let me sleep. They tried to drown me. Three times they put a gun to my head and pretended to shoot me. They did this to me for 2 months.

McCoy

And you're positive that the people who tortured you were under the command of Colonel Pantoya?

Yes. He visited the prison many times. [to Pantoya] The man you laughed at, the man hanging like a pig, it was me. Through my blood and my tears, I saw you, Colonel.

McCoy

It's possible she suppressed her memory of that night. It's possible she felt too guilty to fully participate in her own defense.

Carmichael

It's also possible that her lawyer isn't the idiot that we take him for. He held on to this until he thought it would do the most good.

McCoy

No, he's an idiot.

Carmichael

They tried the victim.

McCoy

And made a badge a license to kill.

If the case depends on the jury believing a career criminal who's cut a deal, I'd say we're in trouble.

McCoy

We have a defendant who left the country rather than stand trial.

Which the defense will attribute to a combination of panic and religious fervor.

Carmichael

We could also establish that he was stealing from the business.

A business his father half-owned.

McCoy

Are you suggesting that we offer him a deal?

After what we went through to get him back here? Not on your life!

Don't beat yourself up too badly over this one, Jack.

McCoy

A guy shoots a New York City police officer in the line of duty and I can't convict him.

Enough of the jury identified with his fear of cops.

McCoy

Used to be a fear of cops didn't justify shooting them.

Used to be a lot of things.

[looking to Maxine] She told me about this guy, John Brown, who led a raid on Harper's Ferry to steal guns to free slaves. Ever hear of him?

McCoy

Apples and oranges.

Pretty brave guy, wasn't he?

McCoy

[admittedly] Yeah, he was.

What would he do?

You've got to make this decision for yourself.

[pause] Thank you for your offer, Mr. McCoy. I want to go to trial.

McCoy

Man's dominion over the animals remains intact.

Carmichael

The jury decided to follow the law.

And a hero is born.

You got yourself the right kind of defendant. He's Brazilian, but he looks like he could be Puerto Rican. I mean, Brazil's still in Latin America, right? As long as he's Latino, you've got the right color of head on your stick.

McCoy

I don't care what color of head's on my stick. All I care about is, did he do the crime?

Yeah, right.