DS Matt Devlin quotes from Law & Order: UK

DS Matt Devlin

You were a featherweight?

DS Ronnie Brooks

I still am a featherweight! Just that my clothes got small.

DS Matt Devlin

He's ordering a chinese.

DS Ronnie Brooks

I wish I had chinese, that is horrible.

DS Matt Devlin

[puts Ronnie's dinner in an evidence bag]

DS Ronnie Brooks

What are you doing? That's my dinner

DS Matt Devlin

Enough is enough!

DS Ronnie Brooks

What do you mean enough is enough? That's my dinner! Have you nicked them crime scene bags from work?

DS Matt Devlin

These bags are the only thing strong enough to deal with what you eat!

DS Ronnie Brooks

Matty, you're unbelievable, son!

DS Ronnie Brooks

That street dance is it?

DS Matt Devlin

Brucie here is more familiar with ballroom

DS Ronnie Brooks

So basically, Dr. Grant is going for the Shaggy defense.

CPS Prosecutor Alesha Phillips

"It wasn't me"?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Exactly. [off Matt's look] What? Young person's music, Matty. My girls keep me with it!

DS Matt Devlin

You were doing really well. Until you said with it.

CPS Prosecutor Alesha Phillips

So this man has been passing himself off as a doctor at a major London teaching hospital for nearly two years.

DS Matt Devlin

Reassuring, isn't it? Put on a white coat, stethoscope, people believe anything you say.

DS Ronnie Brooks

[to Jake, good-naturedly] Bit like a wig and a gown

CPS Prosecutor Jake Thorne

Too right. I've been getting away with it for years.

DS Matt Devlin

Snatching a kid from a ride in front of his own mum. This bastard's got balls.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Yeah, and I know what I'd like to do with them

DS Ronnie Brooks

If the dads taken the kid then hopefully he's safe.

DS Matt Devlin

[sarcastically] Yeah, cos dad's never hurt their own kids, do they...

DS Ronnie Brooks

You don't know how it feels not to see your own kids, Matt.

DS Matt Devlin

[offers Ronnie his sandwich which - unusually - he turns down, making Matt realise something is wrong.] Sarah still not returning your calls...?

Traces of spermicide and lubricant, she’d had sex but with a condom, no sign of rape… bit of bruising but I’d say the sex was energetic, not violent.

DS Ronnie Brooks

I remember that

DS Matt Devlin

What? Having sex?

DS Ronnie Brooks

No, being energetic.

DS Ronnie Brooks

There's a lot of men out there looking for company

DS Matt Devlin

I sort of understand the curb crawlers, business transaction and everyone knows it.

DS Matt Devlin

It's sad!

DS Ronnie Brooks

Not sad, Matty. Just lonely.

DS Matt Devlin

[Looks suspiciously at Ronnie]

DS Matt Devlin

What do you think I am? Some sort of Neanderthal?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Never ending source of wonder, Matt!

DS Matt Devlin

He eats boys like you for breakfast.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Oh no, Matty. He don't eat them, he-

DS Matt Devlin

Alight Ron, we get the idea.

DS Matt Devlin

Don't make me play bad cop.

DS Ronnie Brooks

You wouldn't like him when he pays bad cop.

DS Matt Devlin

He doesn't take much interest in his wife's business.

DI Natalie Chandler

Oh, so a typical healthy marriage then.