Hunter quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Docket ending 25801. People vs. James and Victoria Grall. One count assault in the second degree, one count grand larceny, one count burglary.

How do you plead?

Not guilty, your honor.

They should be charged with murder!

Court officers, remove this woman!

She's right. We should be charged with murder.

Would the People like to amend the charge?

Novak

No, your honor. The defendants are only grandstanding to further their political agenda.

If you were fit for your job, you'd seek justice for these lost souls.

It was an accident.

Mr. Hunter, control your clients.

Hunter

As your honor well knows, according to New York law, life does not begin until a baby draws breath.

It begins at the moment of conception.

Novak

Even in the cases of abandoned newborns, a murder charge cannot be brought if it's determined the infant was stillborn.

The charges stand.

Hunter

Actually, your honor, the grand larceny should be dropped to petty larceny. Human bodies cannot legally be sold, and therefore have no monetary value.

Novak

The couples who went to Hudson Cryobank each spent tens of thousands of dollars to get those embryos.

Hunter

That was for services provided. It wasn't a sticker price of an embryo.

That's an issue for your trial judge. I'll add on the lesser charge and hear the People as to bail.

Novak

$100,000 each.

Hunter

Excessive. The defendants are not a flight risk. They have ties to the community.

Bail is set at 10,000 each, cash or bond. [bangs gavel] Next case.

Benson

He almost killed me.

Hunter

He didn't know you were a cop.

Benson

And that gives him the right to attack me?

Hunter

The law gives Officer Harris every right to strike an inmate to force compliance!

Benson

But not the right to try and rape me!!

Docket ending 419. People vs. Henry Shaw Roberts. One count each: Assault in the second degree, criminally negligent homicide, endangering the welfare of a child.

Busy man, Mr. Roberts. How do you plead?

Not guilty.

Hunter

On all counts, your honor. And the homicide charge is a stretch.

The defendant forced his stepson to fight a 10-year-old and bet on the winner. What would you call the death of that child?

I'll let the grand jury decide. Bail, Miss Hardwicke?

Remand, your honor. When he's not promoting kiddie fights, the defendant spends his spare time beating up his wife and stepson.

Hunter

My client has never been arrested. He has a steady job and strong ties to the community.

First offense, Miss Hardwicke. Can you live with 50,000 bail?

If it's cash only and comes with an order of protection for Mrs. Roberts.

So ordered. Mr. Roberts, you are not to come within 200 feet of your wife, your stepson, or your home.

Then where the hell am I gonna stay?

Rikers Island, if you violate the order. Unless you'd rather go now.

Hunter

That won't be necessary. Mr. Roberts will abide by your ruling.

Then we're done, aren't we? 10-minute recess. [bangs gavel]

Hunter

Hey, speaking of family, do you have a sister who teaches here?

Munch

No, why?

Hunter

There's a calculus teacher who looks a lot like you. [menacing] Maybe I'll have her next year.

Fin

Not where you're going. [loads him into a police car] Watch your head.

Munch

Did he just threaten my hypothetical sister?