Hardwicke quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

[of Vivian and Sarah] Codependent and drug-dependent. It's like Sid and Nancy, except they're both Nancy.

Benson

Are you proud of yourself? You trashed her.

My job's to win the case.

Benson

No, your job is to make sure that justice is done! Convicting Camille isn't justice.

That's for the jury to decide.

Benson

The jury is going to throw the book at her because you turned her into some crazy slut. Congratulations!

Docket ending 419. People vs. Henry Shaw Roberts. One count each: Assault in the second degree, criminally negligent homicide, endangering the welfare of a child.

Busy man, Mr. Roberts. How do you plead?

Not guilty.

Hunter

On all counts, your honor. And the homicide charge is a stretch.

The defendant forced his stepson to fight a 10-year-old and bet on the winner. What would you call the death of that child?

I'll let the grand jury decide. Bail, Miss Hardwicke?

Remand, your honor. When he's not promoting kiddie fights, the defendant spends his spare time beating up his wife and stepson.

Hunter

My client has never been arrested. He has a steady job and strong ties to the community.

First offense, Miss Hardwicke. Can you live with 50,000 bail?

If it's cash only and comes with an order of protection for Mrs. Roberts.

So ordered. Mr. Roberts, you are not to come within 200 feet of your wife, your stepson, or your home.

Then where the hell am I gonna stay?

Rikers Island, if you violate the order. Unless you'd rather go now.

Hunter

That won't be necessary. Mr. Roberts will abide by your ruling.

Then we're done, aren't we? 10-minute recess. [bangs gavel]

The guy's not dumb. He went to law school.

Fin

Since when was that mutually exclusive?

Lot of charges here, Miss Hardwicke. I hope you aren't trying to substitute quantity for quality.

Your honor, the defendants are serial con artists who've defrauded countless victims.

Then why isn't the gallery overflowing with 'em?

[turns to Jerry in the gallery] One is seated right there. Jerry Bullard.

You mean the man who's willingly paying for my client's defense.

That's irrelevant.

Mr. Shankman, wanna pipe in here on behalf of your client?

Yes. Yes. My client would like to plead not guilty, your honor.

As does mine.

And the People request remand for both defendants, who have displayed quite a talent for trickery, coercion, and threats. Both use aliases, both lack community ties, and both are an extreme flight risk.

Your honor, I don't know about this other suspect, but my client has no history of violence and has never been charged with a crime.

Uh, me, neither. I've never even been fingerprinted.

Sir, if you have something to say, you need to say it through counsel.

[about his attorney] But he's not sayin' anything.

Your honor, in addition to the charges before you, the defendants are also suspects in an out-of-state murder. It would be irresponsible to allow them to go...

Are you asking for an extradition hold?

Well, no. Special Victims collected the defendants' DNA and sent it to Miami PD. But we're still awaiting confirmation.

Then you're tap-dancing while I should be at lunch. Bail will be set for each defendant at $250,000. Both will surrender their passports. [bangs gavel]