Judge Andrews quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

How well did you know Lainie?

Nardalee

Not at all.

So you weren't girlfriends? You didn't share any secrets?

Nardalee

No.

So, you wouldn't know if what you saw was my client fulfilling Lainie's fantasy.

Nardalee

That girl was being raped.

How do you know that? You just said that you didn't know my client or Lainie.

Nardalee

I know when a woman is being raped.

Are you a mind reader?

Nardalee

I was raped.

Objection, your honor.

Nardalee

I've seen many women raped. I know that look.

This is unresponsive.

Nardalee

I know that look. That dead look in the eyes when you imagine you are anywhere but there.

Please direct her to answer the question.

Mr. Kressler asked you a question. Are you a mind reader?

Nardalee

No, your honor. I am not.

Isn't it a fact that you are in this country illegally?

Objection! Relevance.

It goes to her character. She lied to get into the country. Maybe she's lying about this.

I'll allow it.

Miss Ula, isn't it a fact that last week, you were in a detention center?

Nardalee

Yes.

And aren't you only testifying here today, in exchange for Miss Cabot getting you out?

Nardalee

No!

Is it true that you were to be deported, because of close ties to a terrorist organization?

Nardalee

That is a lie!

Aren't you married to a known terrorist?

Nardalee

It was a forced marriage!

And you claimed he raped you.

Nardalee

He and all his friends!

And now you see rape everywhere. No further questions.

Miss Ula, why did you come into this country?

Nardalee

To escape the epidemic of sexual violence taking place in the Democratic Republic of Congo. The men who raped me were fighting for control of the mines that produce tin, tungsten, and tantalum, the conflict minerals you so desperately need to make your cell phones and computers!

Objection. What does this have to do with this trial?

He called her character into question and insinuated she was a member of a terrorist organization. He opened this door!

Overruled.

Miss Ula, do you see rape everywhere?

Nardalee

The women in my village were raped. The women in the militia camp were raped. I was raped repeatedly, by so many men, I lost count. They put their guns in my sex, and one of them pulled the trigger. I was in the hospital for over a year. It left me incontinent. So, yes. I have seen rape EVERYWHERE! That is how I know that girl was raped.

Thank you. Nothing further.

Lot of charges here, Miss Hardwicke. I hope you aren't trying to substitute quantity for quality.

Your honor, the defendants are serial con artists who've defrauded countless victims.

Then why isn't the gallery overflowing with 'em?

[turns to Jerry in the gallery] One is seated right there. Jerry Bullard.

You mean the man who's willingly paying for my client's defense.

That's irrelevant.

Mr. Shankman, wanna pipe in here on behalf of your client?

Yes. Yes. My client would like to plead not guilty, your honor.

As does mine.

And the People request remand for both defendants, who have displayed quite a talent for trickery, coercion, and threats. Both use aliases, both lack community ties, and both are an extreme flight risk.

Your honor, I don't know about this other suspect, but my client has no history of violence and has never been charged with a crime.

Uh, me, neither. I've never even been fingerprinted.

Sir, if you have something to say, you need to say it through counsel.

[about his attorney] But he's not sayin' anything.

Your honor, in addition to the charges before you, the defendants are also suspects in an out-of-state murder. It would be irresponsible to allow them to go...

Are you asking for an extradition hold?

Well, no. Special Victims collected the defendants' DNA and sent it to Miami PD. But we're still awaiting confirmation.

Then you're tap-dancing while I should be at lunch. Bail will be set for each defendant at $250,000. Both will surrender their passports. [bangs gavel]