Captain Cragen quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Stabler

This whole case is like a jigsaw puzzle.

Well, let's look at the pieces we've got. One suspect eliminated, one cooperating, and one hiding behind his lawyer.

Fin

Picture's gettin' clearer.

You call this finesse? I've had calls from the brass wanting to know, did I orchestrate an undercover operation with SVU, and the press has already gotten a whiff of it. What kinda Mickey Mouse club is this?!

See, actually, I hate that little black rodent. Now, Dick Tracy, that was a club. You got this great decoder ring and a really cool watch.

Munch

There should be a special level of Hell for this pus-sucking, gangrenous, malignancy of a mental amoeba!

Somebody steal your parking space again?

Munch

Explain to me how shmoes like us spend every night at home alone watching the History Channel while a scum like Ramsay has this nice girl's complete devotion? She's so convinced.

Well, if there is any karma, Ramsay won't be doing much sitting down in Rikers.

What ever happened to just hanging out on the jungle gym?

Stabler

Went the way of your 8-track tape.

You're on desk duty.

Benson

Captain, I can explain.

You can't follow my orders on the street, you try keepin' my files straight.

Stabler

Captain?

[to his other detectives] And in case anyone else here has Detective Benson's hearing problem, read my lips or buy the Cliff notes: No one is to go near Ashley Black again. That includes her family, school, house, and any employees therein.

Benson

You can't do this. Somebody's gotta help her.

Really? Well, thanks to you, now none of us can!

The law isn't always about justice.

Who let you in on our dirty little secret?

Elliot, how'd it go with the doc?

Stabler

She said the bandage probably kept most of Gloria's blood from entering the wound.

Good.

Stabler

[holds up 2 medicine bottles] Just in case, she gave me a month's supply of antiretrovirals.

Then what?

Stabler

Wait and see.

That's gonna make for a hell of a month. Listen, if there's anything....

Stabler

I got it covered.

Well, you got my number.

Stabler

Captain. Thanks.

How goes it, Elliot?

Munch

Hey! I made that! 19 hours ago, mind you, but still, a little tact.

Stabler

[looks at an empty can] Hey, Munch, why do you do this? You always do this. [to the captain] He puts the lid back on an empty can!

Munch

It's just my way.

Damn it! This place is a pigsty!

Benson

You're the one who said no janitors.

[sarcastically] Oh, thanks, Olivia. It's my fault.

A girl O.D.'d and died alone. Her father, a decorated cop, 30-year career, over, no pension, his family in shambles. But you know what really, really scares me? That all you people are concerned about is some lying, murdering sack of crap.

In this country, that lying, murdering sack of crap has rights, too, Captain.

Tito... Jill Foster... They're both dead. What about their rights?

[after the captain blows up at a suspect] You lost your cool. You are too emotionally-invested in this case!

Damn right.

Who died?

Stabler

Dorothy Rudd.

Please tell me you're kidding.

Munch

Just got a call from Rikers. Massive heart attack.

Fin

Bitch didn't even suffer.

Anybody else feel cheated?

Benson

Prosecution abated by death. Sucks.

Stabler

That's it. No vindication, nobody pays.

Any alarm bells going off on the husband?

Stabler

Several. He's hiding something.

Benson

Getting off while choking isn't something you share with friends and family. People are always shocked when they get that kind of news.

Fin

I can't wait to hear this.

Munch

Your sympathy is overwhelming.

Benson

What happened to you?

Munch

Skydiving, hard landing.

Stabler

He wiped out riding his friend's Harley.

Now the only thing he'll be riding is a desk.