Captain Cragen quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Since when is oral sex not sex?

Benson

Since Bill Clinton said it wasn't.

He's as bad as his client! Hoping the victim is too traumatized to testify. He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth down his throat!

I'd pay real money to see that.

Thornburg? One of the most respected jurists in the state?

Stabler

Which doesn't mean squat to me if he raped an 11-year-old girl.

Munch

Captain, you got a second?

What's up, John?

Munch

Bad timing. I got jury duty in an hour.

And you're just telling me now? Get your ass down there. It's your civic duty, John. The Mayor can do it, so can you.

Counselor, question. Umm, what would it take to blanket-DNA an entire facility?

A constitutional amendment.

If Missy had kept her mouth shut, could've been a perfect crime.

Hey, you don't know there's been a trampoline in the room, you won't dust the ceiling for prints.

Tell me this isn't as bad as it seems.

Oh, it is.

And Missy's immunity is etched in stone?

We can't touch her. We're screwed.

You need anger management, Captain.

And you need to kiss my ass!

Stabler

It's not coercion.

Dr. Huang

You pushed Kevin into a psychotic break so I would drug him so you could coerce his confession.

Stabler

I did what I had to do to save that boy.

Dr. Huang

Great. What are you gonna do next? Bash in people's skulls to make 'em talk?

Stabler

You know, your way, Adam wouldn't have been found until he was starved to death.

All right, that's enough, both of you. Did the medication hurt Kevin?

Dr. Huang

No.

Then what's the harm?

Dr. Huang

Unless a court forces him to, it's Kevin's choice whether to take it. We don't have the right to make that decision for him.

Stabler

Do me a favor. Stop treatin' this perp like he's your patient.

Dr. Huang

He became my patient the second I gave him that injection!

Stabler

Then do me a favor. Start thinkin' about the victims here. The kid he kidnapped. The 2 people he stabbed. They're your victims, Doc! Not Kevin!

Dr. Huang

You made Kevin a victim, and I'm gonna testify on his behalf if this goes to trial, which Kevin will win since you handed the defense its case!

Stabler

How'd I do that?

Dr. Huang

They're gonna make you say that he wasn't rational until he was medicated, which means he's not responsible for his actions before then. You get it now?!

Deputy Eckerson is requesting our assistance.

Stabler

Wow. Pigs really do fly, huh?

Whatever this is, let's be careful not to say Muslim men like to burn their wives.

Munch

No. If they want to burn people, they fly an airplane full of gasoline into an office building.

Dr. Huang

Excuse me, but they were extremists.

Munch

Sorry. But my next door neighbor's Iranian. At airports, even he's scared when he sees Middle Eastern passports. I mean, let's get real. People know it's wrong, but they think it anyway.

Casey.

Novak

Who talked to a reporter about this burned woman?

And it's nice to see you, too.

Stabler

What about that autistic kid in Milwaukee last year? Parishioners held him down. They were laying on top of him to cure him.

Benson

That could explain the ring mark. (she walks around behind Cragen and wraps her arms around him to demonstrate) Someone holds Jamie, he struggles, they hold him tighter.

[breathless) Until he can't breathe. Thank you, I enjoyed that.

A mistake?! That's the best you can say? We made a mistake?!

I'm sorry. I'll talk to the ADA, get you outta here right away.

[sarcastically] My hero.

I wanna make things right.

There's nothin' you can do.

I can try.

Can you bring Rebecca back to life?! Can you give me back my career?! [Cragen walks up to him] Get outta my face.

You're usin' again. Not even trying to hide it.

Makes the time go quicker.

You need to get cleaned. I can get you help.

[sits back down] Your help put me here.

You change your mind, you know where to find me. [to the guard] On the gate!

Who killed Rebecca?

Somebody who wanted to hurt you. Any ideas?

Besides NYPD, no. So, this guy rented a car like mine?

Yeah.

Where from?

A place on Houston. I'll keep you posted.

I won't hold my breath.

You gotta help me! He's crazy! He's gonna kill me!

I don't blame him! But let him go, Vega!

He killed Rebecca!

I didn't do anything to her! I swear!

Tell 'em what you did, or I'll blow your head off!

[tries to breathe] I killed her!

Why?! What she do to you?!

I loved her, but she told me she was marrying you. I went to her apartment and gave her one last chance. She blew it.

You're dead.

Put the gun down. You got your confession. You shoot him, you're dead. You kill him, you lose your daughter, too.

Gabrielle's better off without me!

She came to see me. She begged me to bring you home.

The only way I'm leavin' here is in a body bag!

Not if you let him live. He confessed to murder. He's finished. Let me help you.

Nobody can help me.

You're still thinkin' like a junkie. Fine. Go ahead, kill him. Show me you're still a murderer, too.

GUN!