Captain Cragen quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Yeah, it's all fun and games until someone loses a penis.

Don't jump bail, or we'll all be living with Fin.

Didn't 2 of Spicer's married johns take a bust?

Benson

Yeah, about 6 months ago. Vice was targeting the piers.

I'm sure their wives must have been thrilled.

What are you doing?

Munch

Eavesdropping.

Good, you're up to speed. What do you say you go interrogate a husband?

Munch

Are we missing some key piece of information here?

Shut up, John!

I read the autopsy report. Now do you really believe that those 2 ladies were walking around with 5 and 7-inch knives in their purses every day?

Benson

I think we did the one thing that's going to allow me to sleep tonight.

You just used your "Get out of Jail Free" card on this case, Olivia. There's only one in the pack.

Stabler

8 stories up, 8 down.

Cassidy

Looks like she was shot out of a cannon.

Guy on steroids?

Munch

No, the Yankees are on a road trip.

Stabler

Yeah, they're down in Baltimore, kicking a little Oriole ass.

Benson

[reads] "There's a tiny catfish feared more than the piranha. It's called a-"

Candiru.

Stabler

Say what?

This is beautiful. Tell him.

Benson

"It will swim right into a man's penis and lodge itself there by erecting sharp spines-" Ow.

Stabler

[adjusts his seat] "Erecting sharp spines." There's a fish with a sense of irony.

Jeffries

Jerkwad, have some respect for the victim.

Munch

Hey, I respect hookers. At least they earn their money up front, unlike ex-wives, who get you with that lucrative back-end deal.

Jeffries

Oh, so you're saying all women are whores?

Munch

Don't be ridiculous. I don't know all the women in the world.

Children!

When you were at the 3-1, did you know a cop named Sal D'Angelo?

The 70s are a blur.

Tell me about it. Closest I ever came to time travel.

Benson

Blood alcohol level was .27.

Wow. Triple the limit. There was a time I yearned for a girl who could drink like that.

What did they call it before we invented the terms "date rape" and "sexual harassment?"

"Boys will be boys?"

I need physical evidence on the murder.

We'll need to recanvass the crime scene.

Do that. Meanwhile, search his home and office.

I think I'm falling in love with you, Abby.

Munch

When I was a little kid, my parents told me never to eat sweets.

So as an adult you overcompensate?

Munch

Yeah.

Cassidy

I'm guessing your parents also said you should never get married.

Munch

The powers that be always protect themselves and the FBI are their hired guns-

Cassidy

[finishes for him] -fronting for the Trilateral Council, the World Bank, and the Mansons.

Masons.

Police union found us better health insurance.

Cassidy

This form is longer than the last book I read.

Munch

Don't you see what they're doing?

Jeffries

Yeah, they're looking out for you, Munch. Psychiatric coverage increased to 80%.